azaya | Fritter: 7.5

Is this the last post of generation seven? Could it be? Is it?

When we left off, Almond and the three oldest members of generation seven were vacationing on Pincushion Island.

Almond: Hm, yes, I do believe those are tits.

Almond: Oh. Furry tits. Not interested.

By the way, this is the bar.

I feel like GoS would've loved this, Back In The Day.

Harriet: Whoa, baby, shake it, don't break it!

Magenta: God, your taste is abominable.

Tourguide McPastypants: *notices nothing*

Chelsea: I like that the drinking age is nonexistent on this island.

Yeah, that didn't already get you into incest-tinged trouble or anything.

Blondie von Bartender: Hey girl, ever kissed someone outside your family tree? Because I'd love to be that someone.

Tourguide McPastypants: *peers*

Almond: Let's move here!

Townie From Earlier: *lurks*

Chelsea: Hmm. I think I'll call the police. You know, just in case.

Good idea.

Townie From Earlier: HEY, WHAT'S UP! I'M IN YOUR HOUSE AND I LIKE TO TALK REALLY LOUDLY.

Chelsea: Uh, yeah, hi! Shit, what was the police's new number? 0118 999 881 999 119 725... 3?

I'm positive we didn't do anything lamp-worthy this vacation, but sure, thanks!

Genie Midlock: Denied.

Magenta: Rudeness!

Why are you white, though?

Chelsea: DUDE. 8D

Harriet: I'll roll you for heir. Oops, I win!

Chelsea: SABOTAGE

Magenta: Oh my goodness, you must go through so much shaving cream!

Don't be silly, Madge, it's No-Shave November.

Side note: did anyone else ever notice how creepy the description for the tiki food bar is? It's basically like "lol cultural appropriation is cheeky and fun!"

Either way, the girls had some pineapple for lunch.

Harriet, what's the matter?

Harriet: M-my pineapple was... was... UNDERCOOOOOOOKED!

At last it was time to go home, and put drunken incest and underdone fruits behind us forever.

Almond got a tan.

Yes, that's right. This is Almond with a tan.

Cameo and her booty call Jonathan were going at it the entire time Almond and the girls were on Pincushion Island. That's a marathon sex-sion, I'd say.

Also, I installed some new hacks.

Magenta: TELL ME ONE OF THEM WASN'T TEEN WEREWOLLLLLLLVES

It was. 8D

Magenta: THANK GOD IT'S NO-SHAVE NOVEMBERRRRRRR

Cameo's almost at elder. I think she might be going a wee bit senile in advance.

You guys I will punch you in every single face.

Cosmo: It's fine, though! You neutered me!

EVERY. SINGLE. FACE.

Omri: I hope no one from my class sees me.

Don't worry, bb, we're not judgmental in this sims game.

Cameo: Hooray, now I'm of an age where no one will question it if I wear my clothes in the bathtub!

Fairuza: That's odd, suddenly I feel an overwhelming urge to tell the God of Death something...

Death: Yeah? What's that?

Fairuza: NOT TODAY!

Winona: NOOOOOO! Fairuza, my love, why did you have to go so soon?!

Winona: You can't tell, but actually I'm smiling, because my wife narrowly avoided death.

Cosmo: That neon flamingo on the wall there is—

Regina: Don't even try it.

Cosmo: Man, I'm hungry.

Cosmo: Hungry for love.

Also regular hungry.

Cosmo: Nah, just hungry for love.

Disapproving Frog: *disapproves of this blatant falsehood*

Cosmo: What is this stabbing pain in my belly? Am I not getting enough love?

Cosmo: I am really hungry! But I can't eat Harriet.

Cosmo: But I can eat these chips.

Fairuza: STILL NOT TODAY, CHUMP.

Regina: Oh, good, you found the chips.

Omri found teenhood.

Winona: Chelsea, clear the dishes.

Chelsea: Nah, that's okay, Grandma, I'll let you do it.

Winona: ...SO FAIRUZA, I GOT THIS NEW LUBE AT THE DRUG STORE—

Chelsea: Jesus Christ, all right, I'm clearing!

Fairuza: So, where's that new lube? ;D

Miss Pretty: The time is nigh.

Baron: Capital!

This seems ominous.

Cosmo: I'm ravenous again, but I guess I have time to give the cat a snuggle first!

Baron: Stupendous.

Miss Pretty: Just as planned.

What?

Cosmo: NO! I... DIDN'T... HAVE... TIME.

Death: Well, that was kind of sad.

I agree.

Welcome to the crypt, Cosmo, enjoy being there before your elderly mother.

Almond: Hey, sweet stuff.

Almond, for fuck's sake, her husband JUST DIED.

Cameo: I bet you could use a little more space, right? Especially since soon there'll be a new crop of babies to contend with.

I really could.

Cameo: Well, don't mind if I do!

Cameo: See ya!

Regina: I miss Cosmo.

Fairuza: Almond is grossbuckets.

Regina: Word.

Fairuza: Also, laws are for losers.

Regina: Word!

So you know what's really startling?

FUCKING WITCH SERVANTS JESUS CHRIST

Death: C'mere, kitty kitty kitty, get the nice catnip mouse...

Baron: I am not fooled by your playful manner! I know there is a dearth of delicious treats awaiting me in what you foolishly call 'heaven'! 8|

Harriet: Grilled CHEEEEEESE

Fairuza: But, but I'm horny! I don't want to die while I'm horny!

Needless to say, she didn't.

Omri: I JUST CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTERRRRRRRR

And then, amidst the chaos and the sobbing, we had a couple of birthdays!

Elder Regina! Looking pretty fine still, I think.

And Chelsea!

ERMAHGERD.

Hello my beautiful princess witch baby ~~heir~~!!!

Magenta: Gasp! Aunt Gina got old!

I sent Chelsea out to hit the town and look for a mate.

Surprised: nobody.

Her first stop was The Paradise, a club owned and run by her Great-great-great-something Aunt Swan.

By 'run' I mean Swan shows up and plays pool for hours on end. What else do you need in a proprietor, really.

Chelsea: All I have to do is stand here and look hot, someone will see what a catch I am.

Swan: Not as much of a catch as me!

She's still single, by the way.

Swan: By choice.

Gustav: Why is there no bartender? Is it that we're meant to make our own drinks? Are we always to make our own drinks in this game of life? Also, can I just hop over the bar or do I have to go all the way round to the door?

Burning questions of our age.

There was no one of interest at The Paradise, so Chelsea went to that old standby, the bowling alley.

Chelsea: Fireflies!

Almond's Booty Call: Dat ass!

Chelsea: Hey baby, are you this hot when you're not covered in fur?

Greer: Hee, it's true, this fur is quite insulating!

Archie: Hmph, 'werewolves'. Cats are so much better.

Almond's Booty Call: I'd love to get laid right about now.

Melba: Damn it, lost a contact lens.

Miss Pretty: LET LOOSE THE HOUNDS OF HELL THAT I MAY BATTLE THEM AND USE THEM FOR LITTER BOXES.

Greer: So, what do you think? Am I still hot without the fur?

Customer survey says... yes!

We have first kissification!

And first sexification, on Chelsea's grandmas' bed, of course. I haven't given her a double bed of her own yet, so I can only blame her so much.

Harriet has zits, poor thing.

Almond: Ahhh, I remember when I was young enough to have zits. Ages ago, it seems. Of course, everything about me is completely perfect now.

Disapproving Frog: *disapproves of this wanton narcissism*

Chelsea: I just had sex.

Greer: Hey there, sweet thang.

Chelsea: Hi baby, just a sec, I'm in the middle of a Pokemon battle.

And I thought she was going to be an ineligible Regina clone. That was cute of me.

Death again comes for Fairuza. This time, nobody notices.

She won, again.

Magenta: Ugh, what am I still doing here? I'm an adult and I'm not heir, I need to get the hell out and start my own life!

Okay, but let us see how you look all grown up first.

Magenta: Kay.

Chelsea: Who?

Oh, nobody. Just your cousin's first squeeze. ~~Besides you, that is.~~

Madeover heir bedroom!

Regina: Chelsea, honey, maybe you should take tennis lessons. Every guy loves a girl who can play with balls.

Chelsea: Thanks, mom, but I'm really more of a gamer.

GOODBYYYYYE

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Whoa Chelsea has some freaking amazing genes. Perfection.

I feel like GoS would've loved this, Back In The Day.
I totally agree with this and I know I would have been ~inspired~ back in the day to do the same. ;)

I just adore this legacy and all their fantastic clothing and decorating! Yup. Also, Fairuza winning death so many times is kind of awesome.

YOU'RE awesome

which is my immature, inadequate way of saying your comment made me squeak happily and I am too incoherent to respond to each of your points. so basically you're awesome so there.

oh asdfghkl; you're too sweet! you're just as amazing. ;)

eep, thank you! <3

ohai IT Crowd reference! 0118 999 881 999 119 725...3! I've had a bit of a tumble. Now back to oogle the rest of it.

Remember, they're not just the emergency services, they're your emergency services!

*Sweeee* One of your sims is using the skull sweater I made, awesome! Sorry, I always get super excited whenever I see someone using something I made, so thank you for that. :D

Also, another great Fritters episode. I love everything about your game, especially your sims. They are so pretty and funny. Do you think you could share some of the Fritters? My two favorites from this generation were Chelsea & Magenta, both are gorgeous girls.

8D I always get excited when I see someone use something I made too! I'm glad you're happy to see it, I love that sweater.

Thank you so much! I'm planning to share the whole family at some point, for sure. There's just so many of them that getting started is a bit daunting, heh.

I'm kind of jealous how often your Sims beat death. D: Never works for me...

Also the no shave November reference, lol...yes.

Cameo is adorable as an elder. Do you have a retirement home made for moved out elders?

Fairuza really got into it, she beat Death about ten times x___x I confess after awhile I just started waiting for her die.

I don't have a retirement home, but I really should make one. Then maybe they wouldn't just languish in the bin until I remember they exist and kill them. /o\

everything about this update is flawless

also now I want Chelsea's room.

thank you 8DD

Seeing Harriet's zits I first thought someone was aiming at her with a sniper rifle.

Just how do you get your Sims to die of starvation? I've had this Sim who, thanks to her power to cheat death, never freaking died. It got annoying after a while, especially because the entire family always stopped dead in the middle of whatever they were doing to mourn the not-death of their great grandma. So I stopped commanding her to join when the family had meals and indeed she didn't eat anything on her own - that is until she was very much about to starve, at which point she'd whoop up a huge-ass dinner in the middle of the night.
She was incredibly resilient. *whisper* I ended up killing her with a custom witch spell.

Swan's club is awesome, btw. Makes me want to have a grungy GOS-ish community lot for myself. It reminds me of oldschool VTM. <3 <3
Is it possible for Sims to actually own clubs and make money? I don't have OFB and I thought they could only have shops and maybe be hairdressers or something.

heh, I don't really get them to die of starvation so much as I mostly just let them do what they want, and if what they want includes being too dumb to remember where the fridge is, I let the die, unless I'm too attached to let them go. my sims are kind of dilettante about preparing meals autonomously and I rarely order them to do it. that cheating death story sounds familiar - I hardly ever let a sim make that wish because it tends to result in immortality, which is super annoying for the reason you mentioned.

sims indeed can run clubs! put a ticket machine on a lot and start charging sims and any lot becomes a club. :D

old-school VtM is quite a compliment, thank you! <3

This was marvelous, eep! I just love how you've decorated Chelsea's room. Also, the fact that Fairuza is practically deathproof (and a Game of Thrones fan) seems very fitting. 8D

GoS nostalgia makes me smile. My bestie still teases me for "garden of shadowing" anytime I am on the computer looking at sim things.

Ahaha, garden of shadowing is so appropriate a name! XD

I'm so pleased you like the decorating, I always absolutely love yours, but you know that already <3

Fritter: 7.5

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