![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
Thistleburr: 4.1
what fortuitous tidings, update 4.1 on 4/1! don't look at the year part of the date. don't look at it.
last time:
- belizabeth got engaged to hazel
- the girls graduated college
- belizabeth is heir
- hazel moved in
fernie: how many times has the overlord made a gay joke when one of us says 'rainbow'? a thousand times? a million?
mean to me?!
hazel: *airborne smooch*
belizabeth: ohoho, a blown kiss, right here, in the kitchen? you exhibitionist minx!
hazel: we should fuck about this, but before we do, i'm still a little hungry. i was thinking of making some grilled cheese—
belizabeth: I WON'T HEAR OF IT!
belizabeth: not filling up on grilled cheeses when it's fuckin' ground apple season, bitch.
hazel: *dreams of a fate most narrowly avoided*
sailing the high piss seas in the piss-yellow bathroom
chlora: heeeee. yoo hoo hoooo huhhhh.
fernie: who put all these ground apples in here? they belong outside on the ground
belizabeth: ...and i guess the raisin bran is the most efficient food source for them. mom explained it all to me once, in a very threatening way, but honestly most of it slid right off my brain.
hazel: well, i for one can't wait to invest! it's been my lifelong dream to sponsor a needy hedgehog.
belizabeth: it has?
severance star's still working diligently at becoming more evil. it's inspirational, really.
chlora: HNNNNNNNGH
whatcha up to, fernie?
fernie: thought i'd give writing a try.
cool. what's the thought bubble about?
fernie: writing erotica, specifically.
belizabeth's crawling toward her lifetime want to sell a §1000 painting. the best she's gotten so far is in the §600 range, so she's got a ways to go.
belizabeth: there's time. i'm young and determined.
that's the spirit!
scrampfle, meanwhile, doesn't have to do fuck-all, and good for her. we should all be so lucky as to snooze at will upon a soft pillow, with no responsibilities.
belizabeth: yar-har-har, me hearties, fix your gaze on the far horizon, for we—
severance star, in the next room: blizzy? c'mere a sec
belizabeth: what's up, ma?
severance star: BOOM. you're welcome.
yeah, that makes sense with her evil trait and all.
severance star: her what?
hazel: not just a pirate captain, but an evil witch too? i GOTTA lock that down!
okay.
WHUH
WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN
they: teach you not to put morphs in our outfits
wallowine: what? why're you all looking at me?
chlora: y'all, don't stare. it's rude.
fernie: YAWN. BORED.
hazel: grats on becoming a witch. i'm sure you'll use the power responsibly and well.
belizabeth: oh, haha, no. nooooo.
celerity: *dissociates in the doorway*
belizabeth: one sec, baby, just gotta finish this trainer battle.
hazel: reasonable
yeah, this suits her.
scrampfle: and this is MINE evil face as well!
severance star: yeah, i did good
hazel and chlora: HUP HUP HUP HUP
belizabeth: i should get into blacksmithing
yeah, you should definitely have access to big hammers and red-hot implements.
SPARKLES SIGHTED!
hazel: —and as you can see here, hanging poster, the homemade sourdough stands up excellently to the multiple layers of cheddar and swiss, where a less hearty bread might leak—
belizabeth's still got her godforsaken gameboy advance. i don't have the heart to take it from her.
not yet, anyway.
belizabeth: *games louder*
belizabeth: impart your wisdom to me, scrampfle
scrampfle: every things are evolving into crabs
chlora: while we're slapping hands in the basement, fernie, how's your book coming?
fernie: pretty good, thanks for asking!
huh. is this a response to sandry's underappreciated work ladybug beatdown?
fernie: i'll never tell!
well, it sold better than ladybug beatdown, but that bar is in hell. doubt it'll ever see the runaway success of let's bomb ladybugs, though. that's the one to beat in the canon of ladybug-centered literature.
severance star: ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR
hazel: tickle tickle!
severance star: you dare touch a being of such phenomenal power?!
hazel: fuck me, did severance star lay a curse on me?
nah. childbirth
hazel: hm. yeah, that looks right
chlora: yeah, looks good to me
belizabeth: wonder what's going on in spore
belizabeth: wonder where the baby is
hazel: i'm sure she's fine!
belizabeth: oh, thanks gran
belladusa, first of gen four!
chlora: i'm so glad i got the chance to hold my great-granddaughter...
chlora: ...before i'm out! later, 'baters!
hazel: NO! that's one less pair of hands to help with the babyyyyyy!
severance star: wonder what's going on in spore
belizabeth: THE MONEY ONLY SLIGHTLY SOOTHES MY GRIEEEEEEF
severance star: wonder what blizzy's up to
oh, you know.
claudilune arrives!
severance star: i should do something evil. something REALLY evil. something TREMENDOUSLY evil. something so vile, so foul, that all of teagarden moon will never stop cursing my name.
or you could do potty training face?
severance star: okay, yeah
severance star: this is way less work!
claudilune: SCRAMPF
scrampfle: scrampfle! scrampFLE! the 'fle' is not being silent!
hazel: hell yeah, trampoline! my body is definitely sufficiently recovered from the trauma of childbirth!
belizabeth: are you sure? you just pushed out a whole baby and all...
hazel: yeah, and i did it in fifteen seconds tops. we're not exactly working with one-to-one realism here
fernie: the bushes at s k a t e s are looking so verdant and lush! what a pleasure.
after two big generations right in a row, a pair of babies feels like a balm.
severance star, in her cult leader's whites.
and then in nothing at all
claudilune:
her grandmothers: MMNSFLGNNFF
flush with creativity in the afterglow, fernie sat down to pen her sophomore novel.
hazel: maybe i should get into writing smut.
she stroll
severance star: ME
belladusa: mothers? any/either mother?
fernie: advice? well, i guess i'd say one of the most important things in writing erotica is to be familiar with the body. hard to write about sexy things happening to it if you can't name the parts
hazel: uh-huh. uh-huh. this is great, keep it coming
they: gmolphf
belladusa: is that your stink cloud?
claudilune: i don't claim it.
belladusa: just in time! i'm no longer nose-level with the stink!
claudilune: it's simply impossible to say whose it is, we just can't know for sure
bella's a little cutie! she got sandry's eyes, which is wild to me. neither severance star nor belizabeth has them. love when recessive genetics crop back up and surprise you.
bob lamp: how's it going pthhpth
severance star: got old.
i don't think we've had a single successful muffin in this family yet. but i respect them for trying
belladusa: wonder what's going on in spore
fernie: thank goodness belizabeth's not here to spy on my diary!
belizabeth: lol
claudilune: I'M TELLING YOU, THIS STINK CLOUD COULD BE ANYBODYYYYY'S
fernie: why am i doing this, you've got two moms
belladusa: why are you green?
severance star: scrampfle, my good man! who never asks rude questions about my appearance! what's shaking?
scrampfle: finger
severance star: all right, speaking of green. what do you know about finance?
severance star: THROW IT ALL OUT. EVERYTHING YOU THINK YOU KNOW IS BABY POOP.
hazel: you say multiple things are evolving into crabs? at the same time?!
scrampfle: nature is having wondrous and mysterious ways
hazel: for sure
belizabeth continues the noble tradition of bathroom handheld gaming
belizabeth: 'noble'? i woulda expected you to call it, like, 'loathsome'.
i was being polite.
fernie: there now, claudi, don't you feel better being nice and clean?
claudilune: i maintain that the green stink could have belonged to anyone and this circumstantial evidence is not sufficient to convict me.
severance star: you know what makes bank, these days, is penguins.
belladusa: like... stuff about penguins?
severance star: no, penguins. they're financial geniuses. how else could they afford to wear exclusively little tuxes?
belladusa: i... i guess so
belladusa: that sounds suspect to me, but you did say my financial literacy was in the toilet, so
severance star: yeah girl i'm telling you, it's penguins all the way down
claudilune: *burps resonantly*
fernie: i should be at the club
severance star: i, too, should be club-bound
scrampfle: not i. mine cat tree is the place to being.
scrampfle: bliss
severance star: *cackles amongst the ground apples*
belizabeth: yeah, girl, stomp on that thang
hazel: did you have a good nap, scrampfle?
scrampfle: it was being more than adequate!
claudilune had a birthday,
and so did fernie!
cutie
time for BIRTHDAY BODILY SWINGING
and birthday nighttime sunburns
fernie: a gift from the stars
belladusa: the overlord took a lot of pictures of us talking about potty training this update, didn't she?
claudilune: i wonder if she regrets it.
old lady ground apple snuggling
belladusa: it's not true! i won't believe it! not EVERYTHING is crabs!
claudilune: what are crabs
belladusa: sure is the right time to stand around in this room
claudilune: gonna art so good. hell yeah. i'm the best arter. no one will ever out-art me
claudilune: so, bad news. i can't draw for shit.
belladusa: dang. really makes you think
no it doesn't. none of you have ever had a thought in your dumb little lives. later!
no subject
no subject