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Thistleburr: 3.1
last time:
- severance star returned to claim her heirship
- she became a witch
- she met a girl
- that girl moved in
severance star: HNYARGH
great choice of activity when you're pregnant.
severance star: when i'm what?
severance star: the ambiance in this room would be perfect if not for this book left carelessly on the floor
severance star: there. perfect!
plates: *waft*
sandry: heh heh hah huh
chlora: *wafts hobby skill*
fernie got promoted, came home from work, and promptly passed out on the lawn.
fernie:
scrampfle: sister star, that soup is not smelling correctly like its ownself.
severance star: don't be silly, scrampf, this soup is gonna be bomb!
severance star: ah, balls!
scrampfle: mother is behinding this. i'm am knowing it.
severance star: i really thought this soup was gonna be fire, but it only caught on fire :(
flies: *RAVE*
severance star: well, waste not, want not.
scrampfle: *snorf*
severance star: think i'd rather waste and want. horf
severance star: aye, captain, 'tis clear as the eye can see. no unseemly burnt soups on the horizon to trouble the tum!
severance star: what the FUCK
i told you, chump
star is working on becoming the type of witch more befitting her personality. (evil. it's evil.)
fernie: how do you manage to spew cornflakes like that when you're eating scrampfled eggs?
severance star: it's my useless superpower. GORMRORMRORMRORM
sandry: so i'm thinking for my next novel, i'll write it in sharpie
fernie: of course, of course
chlora: you know that novel's gonna be trash, right?
fernie: oh of course! i'm just trying to be supportive.
severance star: you're a sweet little tangerine. wanna join up with my blueberry to make a weird fruit salad?
fernie: what?
severance star: what?
when fernie figured out this was star's attempt at a proposal, she said yes. and then they celebrated.
fernie: hehe fuck
fernie: hEhE fUcK
severance star: ah-OOM
severance star: GORMRORMRORMRORMRORM
severance star: whoa, i can see the whole kitchen from here!
fernie: BUHORK. uh-oh
god damn it, i hate concurrent pregnancies. the perils of an entirely queer game
fuck off, boots!
fernie: wow, star! you even manage to make pork chops fly off in bits of cornflakes! the chemistry of your body is truly incredible.
severance star: thanks babealooski. GORMRORMRORM
fernie: i guess the cornflake alchemy is particularly tiring.
or she's a dumb pregnant bitch who forgot where her bed is.
fernie: or that
sandry: what an absolutely perfect day!
severance star: sup, you got star. ...nah man i'm still the dumb kind of witch. but i'm working on it! diligently!
fernie: oh wow i really don't wanna put my face that close to this toxic toilet BARARRF
fernie: oo mrs. thistleburr oo~
sandry: yyyo
there's a lot happening here and it's all bad.
star, your bladder's about to let go, just use the damn thing.
severance star: overlord, have you seen these fumes? they're a uti waiting to happen! to ME!
she gave up and went upstairs to clog the other toilet.
plungy mcspectral: we need to unionize.
scrampfle: KILL no i'm am just playing, feather friend! your life is not in dangered.
fernie: think i might be pregnant.
yeah, think you might
severance star: 'scuse me
severance star: hold this
severance star: and i'll hold this
faintree
and ezsther. ezsther is a natural witch! welcome to the notwomb, boyos.
severance star: i think scrampfle should be a star.
you know what? yeah.
potteh training face. i feel like it's especially cute on sands.
abruptly, we voyage to the wedding chapel, which has made a grand return in teagarden moon. some bullshit by a waterfall never sparkled with me.
married in the sight of our lord and savior, dumpling sootling
scrampfle came along, but did not attend the ceremony.
scrampfle: mineself
barbie badgertree: that fernie is smokin'! i should call her.
nice of all these complete strangers to show up and fill seats. it's like a skyrim wedding.
wallowine: ah heck, i lost a contact lens. nobody move!
severance star: —then the zombies start pouring into the building and just ripping off body parts left and right—
barbie badgertree: stop, stop! i loathe the oversaturation of the zombie film genre!
fernie: *laughs alone in a corner*
star finally made it to evil. inaugural evil witch t-rex laugh!
sandry: *behaves irresponsibly*
sandry: i should buy a boat. or a hat.
fernie: *post-shit strut*
llevelyse: i can see, friend, from your exquisite coif, that you are a person of prestige. an intellectual! well, i know things about hedgehogs that would make your TITS TWIRL!
severance star: yeah girl, hustle. #girlboss
fernie, you are blisteringly pregnant. maybe pass on the beer for now.
fernie: no
fernie: oof, the room's spinning. what wicked potion has unseated me thus?
alana: should i propose to my girlfriend at this reception?
let's go home.
chlora had to stay behind to watch the babies.
chlora: star! i found ground apples! i thought the girls might like them. are they on solid food yet?
among the thistleburrs is a hunger for scrampfle to get promoted.
severance star: she's up for an ad campaign for nimmly numbles, the artisanal cat food brand of schmaltzy chow incorporated! i hope she gets it! that would fuck.
why clean the filthy, stinky tub when you could instead hold your nose?
fernie: think i might be bregant.
fernie: i should get engaged. i don't want a baby out of wedlock.
time to make some more, i GUESS
sandry: she's sleeping weird.
chlora: eh, looks normal enough to me
fernie: I am having a BABY
chlora: no way!
fernie: i made a baby! with fuck!
this is gonna be the one, guys, i can feel it. i stocked it with my secret weapon: it's fully about cats.
fernie: hey
so i rerolled for a baby that didn't have human skin for fully an hour, and then this happened, by which point my spirit was so broken that i said sure, why not.
fernie: hold this.
severance star: what is it?
chlora: hohoho, granddaughters
i knew it! i knew cats all the way down would do it! way to go, sands.
sandry: i think the sharpie really helped!
so let's meet the new trips. this is belizabeth.
celerity.
and samara.
samara is also a natural witch! a natural evil witch. naturally sandry can't abide that.
sigh. five simultaneous toddlers. why did i do this to myself?
sandry: you sure are small!
as usual, i forgot to put antlers on them in their initial makeover, but i remembered later.
five. simultaneous. toddlers. i want to die.
chlora: good job kissing my daughter! i assume
samara is star's favorite, the only one she'll do anything with autonomously.
wait, is that a bump?
NO. NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. that whoopsie went away and then i neutered the both of them.
go away, boots!
fuck that, they're growing up now!
faintree! very cute.
and ezsther. she was a beauty queen as a toddler, but i'm not sure where she's going with those cheeks now.
faintree likes her little siblings, which makes me like her. please take care of them for me. please.
ezsther: this is the right way to sit in a chair.
faintree: deffo
BOOTS.
severance star: so now that all the ol' tubes are tied, wanna start getting freaky?
severance star: it's not like we can have more babies.
fernie: i love consequence-free fucking!
belizabeth: HELLO???
fernie: severance star, this ground apple is amazing. you've gotta taste it!
severance star: okay. MLMP
it's a little hard to see what's going on here, but that's severance star, getting electrocuted.
faintree: o mortality, swiftly thou hast come into terrible focus!
star survived, but uh.
fernie knows fire safety, but she's downstairs, tucking ezsther in at four in the afternoon.
scrampfle: well this am certainly rude. how amst i to chat with chartreuse sam amidst such flames?
luckily, fernie had it under control, because we don't have a smoke alarm! just a kitchen sprinkler.
scrampfle: chartreuse sam is saved thus. :>
fernie: yeah, so, no more relying on youtube videos to fix the computer.
yes, please.
*narrows eyes at computer*
fernie: well, since the repair folks are coming anyway
fernie: better scrub this toilet, though! can't be sharing our poops.
all right then.
no subject
Since the wedding chapel is back does this mean some classic Pazooka lots (like the Coffin Bean and the bowling Alley) will also come back in Teagarden Moon?
Now for some WCIFs: The buffet table in the wedding chapel, Fernie's "Galactic Vibes" dress and the black and white poster seen here: https://i.imgur.com/IqIGXr3.png
no subject
they might! i don't really know what all i'm doing community-lot wise. asimplevampire on tumblr made me a couple community lots and i've made a couple but other than that, i dunno if any classics will make a return.
buffet table, fernie's dress, the poster is one of my recolors i'll be posting. :)