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Thistleburr: 2.3
hey hi hello there it's me, thistlenonsense!
last time:
- chlora lost, like, all their money
- aselta was born
- and then sandry got knocked up again
here's aselta, the newest thistleburr, though not for long!
she is highly devoted to her blocks (when she's not trying to cram them into her mouth), to the point of powering through the stink to keep building her wretched little creations.
and so aselta becomes the first thistleburr to accomplish much of anything, by maxing mechanical in toddlerhood!
sandry: i accomplish things! look at me accomplishing this book.
how about you stop displacing the poor thing through the sideboard and gazing at your busy wife, and go next door to make some money?
sandry: fine, but only so i can laugh riotously at this teapot!
to each her stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid own.
she made ramen for dinner, by which i mean she burned it.
sandry: chlora's the cook :(
oh hey, good for you, *checks notes* spencer! way to be! you're moving on up! time for a rais—
—or not.
okay then. have a nice life, i guess!
sandry: looks like it's just you and me again, cash register! we're like bonnie and clyde.
cash register:
amalthea: hey, i saw your only employee just quit on you. here's a token to lift your spirits.
OKAY, THANKS
sandry: you mean i have to put things back on the shelves? oppression.
sandry: my only employee quit on me. i deserve a little treat. i have conjured one.
can't wait to see what it is!
oh hey, brownies! not bad, bitch.
sandry: right?
sandry: do you... have to do that right now?
scrampfle: it is here and now or on the carpet and now, mother!
lulihart: *games*
umbreen: you smell bad.
lulihart: yeh.
umbreen: can i have a turn?
lulihart: you can eat rocks.
umbreen: uh... no thanks. scrampfle?
scrampfle: time for PLAY!!
scrampfle: sharping mine claws
chlora: stargazing gets you SWOLE!
umbreen: i have nothing left to live for.
lulihart: surely this time i will succeed at muffins.
lulihart: what the— I'M TELLING MOM!
sandry: aselta? what're you doing down here?
aselta:
sandry: chlora, our poor little girl!
chlora: passed out on the floor? dumb. what a dullard.
chlora: this is the right place to write in my diary.
lulihart: surely this time!
umbreen: zzz... telling mom... zzz...
umbreen:
lulihart: oh, scrampfle! would you like a sniff of this muffin?
scrampfle: i'm absolutely woulding not.
lulihart: more for me! HORPF
chlora: shit, i have GOT to bake these ground-apples into a pie.
or discover the gamecube downstairs and waste the rest of the day.
chlora: whichever!
perfect place for that, chlora and scrampf, thank you.
sandry: *studies louder*
aselta: well blocks, we've had a good run! but all good things must come to an end. i'll never forget you.
good news, aselta! you can keep playing with blocks as a kid, too!
aselta: tight!
umbreen: it's my birthday, too.
oh, sick! gorgeous!
lulihart: mine, too!
double sick! nauseating, even! lovely.
shouldn't you be baking a pie?
chlora: can't you see i'm baking creatures in the spore creature creator? i'm busy!
sandry: i'll just linger nearby, then.
sandry: wait, no i won't.
sandry: WHAT HAVE I DONE
oh christ, what have you done?
a horrible prediction was made in the comments of the last update, and this popup filled me with skirt-shitting terror.
but surely i'm worrying about nothing, right? it's just twins. it's fine!
OH NO
OH NO NO NO
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!
sandry: birthing children, hold please
chlora: sands, what have you DONE?
you're just as much in shit, missy, half that genetic material is yours!
sandry: hello double bed! hold this, please?
chlora: is it too late to send it back?
sandry: WAKE UP AND HOLD THIS
lulihart: hnnnnnh
lulihart: what am i supposed to do with this?
sandry: GANGWAY
chlora: welp, since i'm up
baby girl: hello. are you my mother?
chair:
chlora: *school cheer*
umbreen: mom, i haven't gone to college...
aselta: hey guys! we hanging out?
second baby girl:
third baby girl: help
lulihart: seriously, what am i supposed to do with this?
aselta: anybody want some midnight muffins?
i grew up the triplets, cuz i can't abide babies. meanwhile, these assholes went to make some more.
toddler girl: moms?
then i discovered one of the triplets is a natural-born witch!! that's so cool! i am not biased toward her in the least.
eskhind, the witchy one.
neelahind, the mom-stalker.
severance star, the odd one out.
three of sandry and chlora's now seven children *sobbing*
(obviously, i'm counting scrampfle. why wouldn't i?)
chlora: sup, friendly wall cat?
friendly wall cat: sup
triplets. i could just puke.
sandry: me too, but it's actually one of my main fears at the moment, so i won't.
oh, how sad for you.
the trips are pretty good at entertaining themselves, at least. which is great, cuz i've never had triplets before and i am running myself ragged taking care of everybody in the household.
scrampfle: HELP
scrampfle: what have you doing, mother?
sandry: if that's a veiled criticism of me, i—
scrampfle: it's is extremily not veiled, mother. it is blatant.
chlora: MY GROUND-APPLE PIE WAS A HIT!!
what're you doing, chlora? wait, don't tell me—
chlora: slowly phasing into another door-mension.
of course.
scrampfle's cushion: *wafts and snores*
severance star: *yawns and wafts and attracts flies*
eugh. better find someone to bathe you.
oh good, umbreen, you're not busy.
umbreen: actually, overlord? i AM busy.
unfortunately for you, i don't give a shit! bathe your stinky sister.
umbreen: ugh
umbreen: i've earned the right to play pirate in the bathtub now.
neelahind: HI-KEEBA!!
severance star: this head requires piercing. bring me my needles.
umbreen: why did i play with her voluntarily.
umbreen: how about some peekaboo instead?
severance star: eeeeeheehee!
neelahind? what are you doing?
...oh.
you know they're triplets cuz they're exploding cat food in sync.
severance star: 8D
neelahind: MOTHER? MOTHER! MOTHER!!
scrampfle: i'm am not your mother thus!
neelahind: *smooch smooch smooch*
neelahind: *has blended seamlessly into the potty*
neelahind: i found mommy!
chlora: which one are you again?
eskhind: :D
scrampfle: everyone in this house excepting for me is needing more of a smart.
i had to take away the dartboard to convert part of the basement into another kids' room, so chlora's making due with the axe-throwing station.
chlora: WOOO
neelahind: please... PLEASE... take me to my bed!
oh good, this again.
lulihart: how many colors can you see? i can see six
oh neat, another tiny architect!
scrampfle: attent
lulihart: i was just sitting here and gadwin printscreen went off by itself. i'm not a model.
eskhind: i don't WANT to learn your language. i'm already perfect!
umbreen: the triplets' birthday is coming up. what should we put in their traditional birthday s'lad?
lulihart: ooh, i do love planning a good birthday s'lad.
sandry: why did i think gestating three more of these was a good idea?
sandry: maybe i could change my name and run away...
severance star: *flings cereal in a celebratory manner*
this is why there aren't many pictures of eskhind, by the way. i love her, but she blows out every picture she's in with her infallibly good witch sparkles.
umbreen: congratulations on making a bff, mom!
sandry: it was you
lulihart: is... is the cheese inside the ground-apple?
lulihart: neh, fuck it! *pulls sandwich out of thin air*
umbreen: huh? oh, uh. WOW, WHOEVER DID THIS TO THE BATHROOM, CERTAINLY IT WASN'T ME >_>
lulihart's teaching scrampfs to pee in the toilet. for some reason, she kept snap resetting when she tried to use the toilet in the bathroom to teach her, so i had to put one on the damn porch.
scrampfle: *scratch scratch*
eskhind: *stares*
neelahind:
neelahind: PLEASE, OH PLEASE, BATHE ME! IF ANY MERCY PERCOLATES WITHIN YOUR SOUL, BATHE ME!!
aselta: mmm, delicious well-done muffin!
chlora's SO CLOSE to her LTW that she just wears the smart hat 24/7 nowadays to finish up the skilling she needs to do.
chlora: *snore*
umbreen: you guys have to slap each other to get red hands? plebs.
chlora: fashoon
aselta: *cartwheels directly into the litterbox*
lulihart and scrampfle are still the best of friends and it warms my heart :>
scrampfle: the pact is sealed thus.
aselta helpfully makes everyone's bed. thanks, selts!
chlora: fuck yeah, i'm wearing my eternal sailor moon cosplay to work!
good for you! that just leaves $19,900 to make up for.
chlora: D8
boots: HELLO? HELLO? HELLOOO?
lulihart: stay very still, it can't see us if we don't move
scrampfle: lulihart it amst not an t-rex
OH THANK GOD
ok, i'm outta here
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All the kids are cute though...but Lulihart is so pretty. :o
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oh my, yes, lulihart is lovely :o