azaya | Gashlycrumb: 6.5

I have been on and off working on this update since I posted the last one in November but in honor of yesterday being Pooklet's spirit journey formation anniversary I have completed it, I have completed it at last

Last time:

I cried every time Varney and Alien Friend did a cute thing
Whisper ignored every single hint to move out
Winnie aggressively pooped with the door open, repeatedly
Una and Usaggie both birthdayed into teenage girls and it was awesome

Baby does a quality control check on the beds.

Baby: zzzzzzzeemsgoodzzzzz

Hey Alien Friend, how's it goooooh my Glob, are you okay D8

Alien Friend: What? I'm fine. Earthicans can't do this?

Generally not survivably, no

Varney: Aw yeah baby. Yeah. The way you applied your makeup with a shovel in a lightless room is getting me so hot.

Alien Friend: um

Alien Friend: Looking's not the same as touching but globdamn, I thought she had better taste. I mean, she married me.

Usaggie: Mom, do you think I'm getting a zit?

Varney: The only thing I think is that you're really gonna regret being in here in about five seconds, I'm baking quite a loaf.

Varney: Be honest, are you a ghost?

Whisper: I'm an alien. My mom was an alien.

Varney: Yeah, but she was blue, man.

Whisper: I'm leaving.

Usaggie: Aw yeah. Cute as shit. Not a zit in sight.

Oh for the love of pancakes

Alien Friend: Not me. It totally wasn't me.

Really? Because you have a history of dropping garbage on the floor and leaving the room.

Whisper: You pucker up your lips like this and then you kind of buzz them...

Baby: I'm with you so far, but I don't have lips.

Usaggie: guys there's a big stinky trash pile guys come see it's so cool

Una: What an opportune moment to smile in this direction!

Varney: Goddamn am I the only one who can smell that? Fuck

Afterwards's best and brightest

Cute old people :>

Plantish: *titcrop*

Whisper: Winnie, don't move, there's a huge mosquito on your back. I'll get it with my wand I'm brandishing here.

Usaggie: MERCY

Una: Never met the guy. >:D

Una: Hi, Grandparent!

That cypress: *is not Plantish*

I guess it is a plant, though.

Una and Usaggie went to the bowling alley to be teens or whatever. I dunno. I have cute townies.

Like FINN! HI, FINN!

Finn: Is that Una Gashlycrumb... or a boat in disguise? :|

Finn: OHHHH, OKAY. It is Una. I can tell by her lack of sails and rigging.

Una: aren't those ships that have those though

sry I'm just really enchanted with this animation-friendly sclera Pooklet made owo

Una: Shh, we're talking about BOATS.

Usaggie: what no i'm fine this is just my posture

Usaggie: I can't wait for my own marriage that will fracture when one of us cheats.

(Oz the smoocher got cheated on by her wife, Thora. She's been seeking revenge most consistently with Bronwyn, the smooched.)

Usaggie: Um

D: Whirr Ping Click Click, you okay?

Oz and Bronwyn: SMARRLGJSLAPRPH

Una: Maybe you could construct some kind of disguise to fool the boats.

Finn: DID YOU SAY BOATS? I FUCKING HATE BOATS.

Finn: But I like that idea! I'll wear this pretty pink dress of mine next time I go down to the marina. The boats will never recognize me then!

Daisy:

Usaggie: !

Whirr Ping Click Click: *is okay*

Finn: Boooooooooats

Usaggie: Okay, but consider this: adoption

Una: Who're you talking to, Usa? :D

Usaggie: Whuh. What? Where are we?

Whirr Ping Click Click: how dare you

Then they went back home.

Una: Greetings, yard sister!

Usaggie: Hey

Usaggie: Steady... steady... steady...

Usaggie: FUCK

The last thing you see before you die

These idiots: *cute all over each other in the wrong bedroom*

Una: *squints* I... I don't think this plate is clean.

What would give you that impression?

I think it was Una that started whining constantly about wanting a bubble blower, and I remember it being kinda funny when the Fritters had one, so I gave one to the 'crumbs.

Usaggie: THIS IS AWESOME

Usaggie: huffffff

Plantish: And then Rootger said what? Get out!

This is Honeyside, by the way, the shop we bought last generation that I never capped even once. The Gashlycrumbs sell their gentleman-honey-farmed honey here.

Madam what part of 'gentleman honey farmers' did you not understand?

Plantish: The opportunities are just blossoming today!

These idiots: *are still at it*

That's some tasty-looking yogurt with fruit you conjured there, Varns.

Varney: I'm a kitchen witch 8D

Are you okay, Alien Friend?

Alien Friend: Oh, fine! I'm just playing The Floor Is Lava. If I let go of the barre, I'll be roasted in seconds.

Okay, have fun!

Usaggie: I wonder what moon rocks taste like.

Plantish: *lurks*

Winnie: Hey, Casper.

Whisper: Sticks and stones may break my bones but don't be an asshole.

Varney: *struts*

Gosh she's pretty u g h

Plantish: I wonder what hot dogs are really made of.

Usaggie: *lurks*

Varney: Next time I think I'll conjure a whole dessert cart!

Usaggie: *lurks*

Whisper: Our BFFship means a lot to me.

Usaggie: hot dogs

Alien Friend: Oho, wow, that came out of me?

Alien Friend: Maybe I should get my tongue pierced. Varney? What do you think?

Plantish and Winnie: *smoosh giggle*

Whisper: i don't understand why everyone laughs when i talk about busts like does no one here appreciate art but me

Usaggie: What are you talking ab— oh, art busts. Like statues. Yeah. Yeah, that's why.

Alien Friend: I'm still waiting for your opinion re: tongue piercings, wife

Alien Friend: I guess while I wait I'll take a bath...

Varney: Babe, if you're talking to me, I can't hear you over the ominous whispers of Bathphomet.

Varney and Winnie Are Terrible At Gossiping: Part I

Plantish: Hey guys, whatcha talking about?

Varney and Winnie Are Terrible At Gossiping: Part II

Plantish: Is it me

Varney and Winnie Are Terrible At Gossiping: Part III

Whisper: yeah what are you talking about

Usaggie: tell us

Bathphomet: I̛̊͒̍͑ͤ͗̔̆̍͏̤͙̤̰͍̥͔͟ ͚̦̬͚͚̞͕̔́͡T̨̳͉ͤ͗ͭ͋ͬ͆Ḥ̷̝̠͎̦͖͖͐̐͊̓͋ͧ͝I̶͇̭͇̻̋̍̀ͭ̚͝N̷̛̠̟̜͕̣̬͒ͫ̽̑̈̏K̴̵̬̲ͤͧͭͯ̓ ̵̷̷͔̪͚ͨ̉̈́ͭ̎͋̎Ảͪͤ̍͠҉̮̜͖̝͓͠ ̼͇̮̦͇̘͙̐͊ͯ͛ͫ̌̌͜͠T̴̷̗̜̤̼̻̍̓̄͌́̋̈́ͥͩŐͣ͂̓ͨͧ͋́͝͏͕̮̲N̶̹͖̼̰̰͚̼̮̂ͭ̌ͨ̂͞Ğ̣̬̂̂͒̑͂͝͝Ů̟͍ͭ̌̀̆͝Ę̟̯̥͎̥̪͚̟̹̆͛̈̔͘ ̲̤̺̩̻̟̝̃̒́ͭ̾̓P̫̗̤͋I̯̬͍͓̋͒͆ͅẸ̷͈̘͙͖͙̮̟̓̌͋R̲͓͍̩͍͇ͣ͌ͧC̺̹̩̞͍̰͔͋ͣ̾̈̀I̸͔̦̞͕̞̮̠ͣ̂͡N̛̹͔̫͕̮̮ͯ̒̊̂͂̌͟G̦̼͉̑͒͂ ̨̲̯̱̝̯͙̩̫̅̃̐̓ͮ̽͐̕͡W̱̘̜͉͉͉͙̓ͯ́ͅO̹̥ͧ̄̿͐̔̀͠Ǔ̲̭͎͈͉͈̮̅̎͛͜L̸̰̇͆̋̉̈̉ͦ̕D̈́̃̂̈́ͧ̍͆ͩ͆͏͕̖̩̺̥ ̈́̎ͪ̌̒ͯ҉̘͕͔̳̯̤͖̀͡B̢̡̰̠̪̉̅̍ͯͭͣ́͆E̘̠͕̜̭̱̪̫̳͂ͭ͑̆́ ̨͇͇̻̙͐̾͡Ḷ̡̡̀͋̃̂ͯͭ̚͠O̧͚̘͇̖̗ͩ̔͢V̉̿̚͜͜͏͕̱̪̦Ȩ̡̏̓ͧ͊ͭͮ͏̠̙̥̱̘̗ͅL̛ͪͦͪ͒̾̃ͣ҉͚̟͕̝͎ͅŸ̢̞̮͎̮͉̜́̿̎ͦͬ̌̕͢ ̣͍̥̼̰̙̲̲͆ͪ͊͆ͫ̆͟O̴̰̞͓̮̫̞͗͗̽͌ͭ͋́N̨̲̱̤̣ͮ̎̈́͊ ̲̬̙̬͚͖̗̾ͯ̒̐Y̯̙̟̬͎͂̃̉ͫǪ͙͕̖̘͌̄͒́ͭU̵̴̻͕͊̈̀

Una: Bakin' brownies.

Those look good.

Una: Hope so. They're special brownies.

Usaggie: Have I told you recently what a magnificent sister you are though

Whisper: What is that enticing aroma? It smells... special.

Varney: TRAINS

Usaggie: So Whisper asked me what a pearl necklace was today. I told him it was a piece of jewelry, so let's keep that going if he asks.

Una: I don't think that was Grandparent I waved to earlier after all.

Varney: Una, where are you going? We're talking about necklaces!

Alien Friend: Don't you like jewelry, sweetheart?

Whisper: I heard my name. What're we talking about?

Una: MY FACE

Varney: Oh

Alien Friend: Holy jicama dickables, what was in that brownie?

Back at the bowling alley, Usaggie attempts to have a normal conversation with a stranger.

Usaggie: ...Once I was toilet trained, though, the fun really started.

Usaggie: I was dropping all kinds of bombs in that toilet, let me tell you.

Kirie: Actually, please don't.

And thus begins Usaggie's obsession with taking her own picture in photo booths.

Then they went to the laundromat. Una came on this trip too, I just... apparently didn't take any pictures of her, oops /o\

Usaggie: Hi, I'm Usaggie. I answered the phone once when you called for Whisper.

Aisey: Ohh, sure, I remember you. How is that crazy cat, anyway?

Usaggie: You don't like busts? How can you not like busts?

Aisey: I'm not interested in art! How many ways can I say it?

Twyla: Oh man, though. Sex, right?

In the secret back room poker den, Gloria surveys the heap of jolly ranchers she has won so far.

Hair Gel O'Leary: Hey, did you guys see Finn today? He's wearing a pink dress. I almost didn't recognize him!

Gloria: a swedish fish are you fucking kidding me

You look happy, Alien Friend!

Alien Friend: Shit yeah I'm happy, I got the last pot brownie B)

Plantish:

Varney: Oh, look! Quick, look! A pearl necklace!

Whisper: Where? I don't see one...

Whisper: I think... I think Varney may have misled me!

Usaggie: What do you mean there's no more brownies?!

Una: Buck up, little trooper! If you get me some more of the special ingredient, I can bake another batch.

Usaggie: CAN DO

I dunno about you guys but I wouldn't be making that face if I was in the bathroom while someone was dropping a deuce.

Varney: I've made a huge mistake

Did you forget to take the shrink-wrap off the TV dinner before you baked it, honey?

Varney: MAYBE

After fighting her way through the charred remains of that huge mistake, Varney prepared a delicious salad which, conveniently, required no cooking.