Entry tags:
Fritter: 6.3
Well hi there! It's been awhile. First because my darling was visiting me, and then second because they went home and I fell into a crushing depression under which there was no way for me to be funny. I'm still not feeling very funny, but I'm three updates behind and it's been like two months so I'd better update before everyone loses interest.
Cosmo: Ow, Mom, don't throw so hard!
Fairuza: LESS WHINE, MORE THROW.
Fairuza: Someday, Almond, I'm gonna walk all over your grave!
Almond: Yeah? Well, first I'm going to smash your face in with a tennis racket!
Fairuza: Well I'm going to punt your head like a soccer ball.
Almond: Sigh, it's football, you undignified heathen.
Miss Pretty: How dare you lavish attention on my minion!
Meanwhile, it's Ultimate Witch Throwdown around here every other second.
With nary a change in the outcome.
Fairuza: Ow, my dignity!
Almond: Stop moving. I want to preserve the details of this moment in my mind...
Why? It's just gonna happen again in a minute.
This time Fairuza, recognizing the limits of her fleshly body, decided to use magic to give Almond an asskicking.
And for awhile, it seemed to be working!
But then Almond kicked the crap out of Fairuza's ghost bodyguard or whatever, thus proving that she's not only better at fighting than Fairuza, she's better at magic too. I think all of Kingfisher Green would hail Almond as their queen if it still existed.
No Cameo you greedy asshole, we already have two!
Cameo: But the environment!
Go plant an organic garden, hippy.
Rozz: NO JANE ROCHESTER LOVES YOU
Cosmo: Mom, are you sure this is safe?
Fairuza: If it's not, we're already in the family graveyard!
Fairuza: See? It was fine! You're fine.
Cosmo: Smorlph :< *+ relationship*
Who the hell are you peering at? No one lives in that direction.
Almond: Heh, heh. Beef's smoking and turning into bacon.
Beef doesn't live over there but okay, Beef get back in your coffin you asshole.
Baron got promoted. Pink fur for cats is unlocked. It's your guess which of these things I care about.
Almond: My skin hurts. :(
Yeah, what was that you were saying about Beef and bacon?
Cosmo: Hmm. I think I want to have a baby.
Cosmo had a birthday that I failed utterly to document, and as you can see, rolled Family.
Fairuza: Hmm. I think I want to have sex.
Teen Cosmo. He continues to be a cutie who looks to be desperately in need of sleep.
Cosmo: So now that I'm a teenager I can get someone to rub my lamp, right? Right?
Winona: WHY WOULD HE SAY THAT TO ME, I'M HIS MOTHER
Almond: HELP
Fairuza: Ooh, look at the time! I'm gonna miss Legend of Korra.
But she took the time to stop and change clothes. And do the evil witch T-rex dance, of course.
Almond: So... you're growing up, right? How about getting those eggs fertilized?
Cameo: You realize you don't even have a family tag anymore, Nana Almond? That makes this especially uncomfortable.
It's true. We're so many generations removed from Almond that, as far as the game is concerned, she's not even related to these people anymore. She's just a creepy old lady who lives in their house and eats their food.
Cosmo does some stuff.
His mother laughs at his pathetic attempts at dancing.
Cosmo: Did you say something, Mom?
Winona: Not a thing. Heh.
Fairuza: Hey, baby! You're looking fine. I'm just on my way to murder your ancestor.
Winona: Dance with me instead?
Fairuza: *is amenable*
Almond: Good. I don't want to have to stop bonding with my great-great... great... great... whatever-grandkids long enough to kick her sorry butt again.
Almond: *thinks about something irrelevant, apparently*
Rozz: *dreams of Sheldon, who's been dead for like fifty years*
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
azaya's heart: *breaks*
Baron: Good sir, might you set me down on yon floor and fetch me a treat from the kitchen?
Cosmo: Whoa. When did you learn to talk?
Fairuza: And you're sure there's no catch to this wish? You're not going to, like, take my soul out of my body and put it in some kind of bauble, essentially turning me into a zombie, right?
Genie: The fuck are you talking about?
The only catch was that we only had one wish left and the genie then had to leave. But he'll be back. He always comes back.
Almond cast Beautificus Locus, because Fairuza cast Corruptus Locus and while I liked the lightning, I did not care for the cockroaches. So Almond cast this to counter it. God what the fuck I am not funny at all today. Sorry guys.
Cameo and Cosmo notice nothing anyway!
Fairuza: BOO, ALMOND. BOOOOO.
Winona's thoughts: *go in an unfortunate direction*
Almond: Aww, it's so flattering to know I still got it!
God I wish those family tags were still intact.
Fairuza: How dare you cause my wife to think about making out with you!
Fairuza: EAT BEES, FUCKFACE.
Almond: I really do not like you at all!
Winona: I do not want to be a part of this.
Fairuza: Come be part of my mouth, baby.
Winona: That's not a very good come-on but I'm aroused anyway.
Almond: FUCK EVERYTHING
Almond: Are the bees coming back?
So relieved was she to see that the bees were not coming that she decided to celebrate by risking her life on Deathswing.
Cosmo: So, Cameo, are you hoping to be heir?
Cameo: Man, who even cares? With our trust funds neither of us will ever have to punch a timeclock.
Cosmo: You make a compelling argument.
Then they cleared each other's dishes and I sent them to the bowling alley in search of potential mates.
Instead, Camy found a bowling lane and Cosmo found the pinball machines.
And I found Embeth! Whose name I couldn't remember without paging back a couple entries. Goddamn it's been a long time since I played. /o\
But I remember Beef! Hi, Beef!
Beef: Sup.
Cameo: Lol, idk what I'm doing here!
Wow, you really don't care if you're heir, do you?
And neither does Cosmo. This generation is cute, but really useless.
Cosmo: What do you expect? We're fifth-generation trust fund babies. We don't need to function.
Touché.
Beef: What the hell are you wearing?
It's not her fault. I must've deleted her outfit.
I just sort of followed him around for awhile, photographing everything he did. Luckily for you, he didn't do a lot.
Cameo: Sup, Great-great-great-uncle Beef?
Beef: Sup.
Beef: Why yes, I would be delighted to bite Carmilla!
Cameo wanted to influence someone and Carmilla's wanted to be a vampire since forever, so why not?
This is why not:
Carmilla: The fuck do you think you're doing?
pooklet: "ONLY THE FANGS OF MY VAMPIRE LOVER MAY ENTER THESE VEINS."
Embeth: Wow. You must be an immortal vampire, you look great for your age.
Carmilla: I am having a love affair with these Doritos.
All in all,
this was a wasted trip.
Embeth: *is cute but does not make the trip more worthwhile*
Beef: *is undaunted by Carmilla's rejection but also does not make the trip more worthwhile*
azaya's bowling alley decoration: *is disappointing*
Cosmo: *makes remark about pearl necklaces*
Winona: I'm your MOM. STOP SAYING THIS SHIT TO ME.
Feeling proud of yourself, Cosmo?
Cosmo: Yep. :D
Fairuza: *is a delicate ballerina in her giant fucking combat boots*
The upstairs landing got a small makeover, by the way. By which I mean I put more shit in it.
Rozz achieves his LTW, making him the first to do so in generations! I don't even remember who did it last. Since I don't make use of Maxis jobs, it's pretty rare.
Rozz: Congratulatory hugs, Miss Pretty?
Miss Pretty: More like congratulatory mouse corpse on your pillow.
Cameo and Cosmo: *fail at coordinating a conversation*
I wish ACR worked with closets. This one would get so much more use if it did.
Fairuza: That's okay. We just made it really count.
Fairuza: Mmm, Winona. I really admire your bendiness. ...Care to take a break in the closet?
But Almond swooped in to cockblock by dragging Winona and Fairuza down to the banana stand. As they say, there's always money in it.
Almond: NOT UNLESS SOMEONE'S WORKING THERE.
Almond: Not me, of course.
Fairuza: Fine, I guess. A little work never hurt anyone, and besides, if Almond gets too overbearing I can always clobber her with a bunch of bananas.
Dulcinea: *is present*
Fairuza: Okay, so buy our shit and I won't sic the bees on you.
Hairgel O'Ginger: You drive a hard bargain, but you've got a deal.
Fairuza: I lied.
Winona: Well, this doesn't seem fair... we're working and Nana Almond is jumping rope...
Almond: When you're matriarch of the family with supreme witch powers, you can jump rope instead of working too.
Almond: Hah. Your jumproping is unimpressive and boring.
Fairuza: Excuse the fuck out of you?
Almond: I REALLY DO NOT APPRECIATE THIS TREATMENT
Fairuza: So, hey. Buy our junk or you could be next.
Fairuza: Hi, asshole!
Almond: Hi, boogersnot.
Winona: Hi, Fairuza, who is on the other side of the fence!
Almond: Hi, cat. I don't remember your name because you're not Miss Pretty, but you're cute I guess.
Baron: Names are not compulsory. Treats, however...
Almond: *soft resets to get a shiny Giratina*
Baron has a birthday and sleeps through it.
no
Cosmo, like Cameo before him, discovers his own reflection.
Fairuza: You might wanna leave. I'm going to look at internet porn.
Almond: Well, then you'd be useful for the first time in your life. Hit up this one site I like, it's in bookmarks.
Cameo: AM I TURNING INTO A MAGICAL GIRL?! 8D
Nope. Just an adult, sadly.
Bye til next time! Which hopefully will be a bit sooner than this time.
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Man, I was just working on the pinball machines for my grunge default project! So I have to ask where are the shark pinball recolor & Dolly Parton machine are from?
Also, your bat gif is adroable♥
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Umm let me think about the shark recolor. Pretty sure it's one of devilsrope's? Part of the CS extractions recolor pack on PMBD, if I'm not mistaken. The Dolly Parton machine is a recolor of mine that's not available at the moment, as I'm still perfecting it. (I just don't care enough about the imperfections to keep from using it in my game, heh.)
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Your Dolly Parton machine looks brilliant to me! I would love to have that in my game.
Also, I don't know if you saw but I posted my grunge object defaults, that I told you about, a couple of days ago here: http://xjoelbabix.dreamwidth.org/9753.html I'll definitely be doing more though.
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Also no, I hadn't seen! But I'm sure I'll download most if not all of them. 8D
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Also, I really like the facial features of gen.3; so awkwardly gorgeous.
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I giggled at Pooklet's comment and I hope you are feeling better and more funny soon. :3
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And thank you again. I'll be okay, I'm just the overdramatic, needy type, so this is the worst thing to have ever happened to anyone ever and so on.
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And I hope you feel better soon <3
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