azaya | Fritter: 6.1

The other night I dreamed I'd started a second legacy. Then it turned into a dream about werewolves. But that has nothing to do with this, really.

So let's pick up exactly where we left off. Which, in this case, means with me fawning over how gorgeous Winona turned out. *___*

Rozz: We're all gamers, we Fritters. It's in our blood.

And speaking of other things that are in the blood...

Winona: Rawr. 8D

I think that's more of a big cat noise, but you've got the basic idea.

Baron: I like mine with Muenster, please.

Almond: *sees no evil*

I didn't have a spousal candidate in mind for Winona, so off she goes to the bowling alley to hunt for a mate. (I haven't built a club or anything for Afterwards yet, so the bowling alley is the best we've got.) I realized I'd never shown a proper picture of the outside of it before, so here it is! You can tell I built it because it's rubbish. I'm not a builder.

Winona: Hi! I'm your great-niece Winona.

Swan: Hi! I don't give a fuck. 8D

Swan's as pleasant as ever.

Embeth was there, too!

Pigtails O'Lipstick: Sheesh, another Fritter? As if there weren't enough of them already.

Winona: I will feast on your flesh, mortal.

Miss Pretty must be rubbing off on her.

Winona: *scopes for hotties*

Honey, the people are all in the other direction.

You don't say!

Winona: Wow, that dress makes your boobs look awesome. Do they feel as good as they look?

Oh my god, don't go for the tits straight off! Where's your finesse?

I think you struck out there. Can't imagine why, your approach was so suave and seductive.

Swan: I'm embarrassed to share genetics with her.

Soon after Swan left, who should show up but Fairuza Balfour the Atrociously Evil Witch!

I don't know if anyone reading the Fritters remembers, but a few years ago I had a neighborhood called Kingfisher Green, and Fairuza was one of my favorite sims therein. I missed her and decided to plop her into Afterwards.

Winona: I like your sparkles!

Fairuza: Thanks! They symbolize that I'm a badass.

Winona: ...and I accidentally drove her away by being too forward but I won't make that mistake twice! 8D

Fairuza: Just out of curiosity, what made you think it was a good idea to tell me about some other chick you think is hot?

Sushi von Hoodie: You remember Eulalie Fritter?

Ginger Reddressington: Sure! She liked bananas.

Evidently talking of Carmilla did not spoil things with Fairuza!

Fairuza: Yeah, it's... late. That's it. No other reason! Certainly not leaving to go take a long, cold shower.

Miss Pretty: MURDER

Miss Pretty: After the scratching post, you're next, avian creature.

Almond: I wonder what Tierney's up to.

As far as I know, being dead, same as always.

The next day, back Fairuza came, all on her own! This seems promising.

Fairuza: When I say I have magic fingers, I'm not just talking about witchcraft.

Winona: Hee 8">

Winona: I'd love a demonstration!

Fairuza: Don't mind if I do. B)

Fairuza: I can say from experience that those do feel as good as they look.

Winona: *is flattered!*

Fairuza: Sweet.

Rozz: Really? I'm kinda tired of her already.

Sucks to be you!

Heir bedroom, madeover for Winona and Fairuza. I really, really love how it turned out.

Fairuza liked their first kiss so much she decided to have another one.

Rozz: Sweet, I get to be sour and crotchety now!

Not with your plethora of nice points.

Winona and Fairuza are very hands-on lovers.

And lips-on.

Almond: Whosagoodkittycatface? Whosagoodkittycatface?

Miss Pretty: The same one who is going to vomit mouse guts in your bed tonight.

Fairuza: Hey, what's that on your nose— BOINK!

Almond: Why? Why would you do this? ;~;

Disapproving Frog: *disapproves of Fairuza's unprovoked attack, and also of Almond's gullibility*

Rozz: This I've got to see.

Almond: I WILL NOT BE BULLIED BY SOME PIPSQUEAK FARTING GREEN GLITTER!

Fairuza: Whoa, dude!

Fairuza: You slander my witch sparkles? Madam, you go too far.

Fairuza: I'll show you what my green glitter can do, punk.

Much as it was in the days of Kingfisher Green, Fairuza's favorite spell is Mellifera Attackum. For those of you without AL or who don't care about witches, that's...

Almond: ...BEES!

Fairuza: Enjoy them, sucker.

Disapproving Frog: *disapproves of this petty squabbling*

Fairuza: Hey, baby, is that thick luxurious fur covering your entire body or are you just happy to see me?

Winona: That doesn't make sense, but I'm aroused anyway!

Rozz: Well isn't this awkward.

Almond: WHY WON'T ANYONE HELP ME

Almond: IT BURNS AND STINGS!

Fairuza: This is the best day of my life.

Fairuza: So should I just call you 'dad', or what?

Rozz: *grits teeth*

Baron: Soon. 8>

Rozz: *sees nothing*

Winona: Holy shit, that's a big rock!

Fairuza: I dug it up in the back ya— I mean, it's from Zales! 8D

Winona: Eeeee! 8D

For some reason, the Propose.../Marriage option wasn't showing up on their home lot, so I sent the two of them down to the rarely-used wedding chapel.

Rozz: I am going to get so wasted on wedding champagne, you don't even know.

Almond: I hate that this is happening! 8D

Carmilla: 'Scuse me, why am I here?

While the wedding guests get drunk and cut the cake inside, our blushing brides both don their winter coats and eat their cake outside, for some unfathomable reason. This'll be a wedding day to remember, if only because of the hypothermia!

Back at the house, Almond and Fairuza dislike each other so intensely that they have to land on opposite sides of the fence.

Fairuza: The hell you say! 8O

Oops, looks like you two got hitched just in time.

Miss Pretty: By all the hounds of hell, the blue sparklies come in green now?

It was at this point that I noticed something odd going on with the family load screen. Winona and Fairuza are married, so they should be standing in some lovey-dovey couple pose, yet Winona looks all pissed off, like a sim in aspiration failure, even though she's usually in platinum? I don't know.

Winona: Sigh, I'm about to become a mother, Miss Pretty! Can you imagine anything more lovely?

Miss Pretty: A bowl of warm fish guts and all of you fuckers six feet under.

Miss Pretty: Then it's settled. Tonight, when all the caretakers are asleep, we sneak upstairs and poop in all of their shoes.

Baron: Capital!

Almond: Phew, what's that smell? I think it's coming from the shoe rack...

And then the baby was born! A little girl, Cameo.

Fairuza: Aww, it's all little and it makes noises when I poke it! 8D

Rozz: I hear the roar of the big machiiiiiiiine, two worlds and in betweeeeeen...

Rozz: Did I ever tell you I used to front a band back in the day?

Fairuza: You? Don't make me laugh. You couldn't front a pair of assless chaps.

Cameo: FUCK YOU, FRYING PAN, YOU WILL NOT DOOM ME TO A LIFE OF INDENTURED SERVITUDE COOKING FOR A MAN WHO TAKES ME FOR GRANTED!

Cameo: FUCK

Just an update on the loading screen situation. As you can see, despite Cameo's birth causing the configuration to change, Winona is still being an out-of-character sulky boots.

Baron: Sir, correct me if I'm wrong, but are not you the canine of the two of us? Shouldn't you be the one doing tricks for a treat?

Disapproving Frog: *disapproves of Baron's stereotyping*

Winona: Mmm, soft fleshy insides.

Almond: Sup.

Winona: Hey.

Fairuza: Asshole, I'll teach you to be in the same room as my naked wife!

Fairuza: Oh, hey baby. Just a sec, okay? Got some business to take care of.

Fairuza: THE BUSINESS OF LAYING DOWN AN ASS-WHOOPIN'.

Almond: Wrong.

Fairuza: Ouch, my bum!

And on that note, goodbye!

Wait no I lied. Look, I eventually figured out why the loading screen was messed up! Well, not exactly figured it out, so much as Fairuza out of the blue fell in love with Winona again (despite already being in love with her?) and that fixed it.

Nor would I cheat you out of your farewell bat .gif. 8D

Okay bye!

Fritter: 6.1

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