nasal cries of ecstasy

[azaya]

Why You Do Not Want To Be My Friend, A Non-Fiction Screenplay

(4:26:07 AM) azaya: I have a confession.
(4:26:15 AM) pooklet: yes.
(4:26:18 AM) azaya: I... kind of find Billy Corgan attractive.
(4:26:25 AM) azaya: I'll understand if you feel we can't be friends anymore.
(4:26:29 AM) pooklet: ... Get out of my sight.
(4:26:40 AM) azaya: *slinks off in shame*
(4:26:47 AM) pooklet: ... oh get the fuck back here
(4:26:58 AM) pooklet: clearly you need me to be here for you in your time of need.
(4:27:00 AM) pooklet: and insanity.
(4:27:05 AM) azaya: I-I really do.
(4:27:10 AM) azaya: *sobs on your shoulder*
(4:27:39 AM) azaya: It will pass. It has to pass. It's awful.
(4:27:45 AM) pooklet: It fucking better.
(4:27:55 AM) azaya: he has pretty eyes.
(4:28:15 AM) pooklet: and a shiny, giant head.
(4:28:24 AM) azaya: which sort of looks like a penis.
(4:28:30 AM) azaya: which is what he is.
(4:29:10 AM) pooklet: Oh, this should make you love him less.
(4:29:11 AM) pooklet: http://www.celebitchy.com/84015/is_jessica_simpson_dating_indie-rock_god_billy_corgan/
(4:29:22 AM) azaya: I don't love him at all
(4:29:26 AM) azaya: I love his visage
(4:29:35 AM) azaya: Which is not reflective of the vileness inside
...
(4:30:04 AM) pooklet: Yes it is. He shaves his goofy fucking head and has piggy eyes and an aura of EVIL.
...
(4:31:30 AM) pooklet: http://www.celebitchy.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/wenn5372736.jpg OK what is up with his hand.
(4:32:04 AM) azaya: He sacrificed it in a dark ritual, and his generous lord rewarded him with a new one? I don't know.
(4:32:09 AM) pooklet: dfgkhjgfd
(4:34:44 AM) azaya: at least it's not Manson?
(4:35:26 AM) pooklet: ... I honestly think I would prefer Manson.
(4:35:44 AM) azaya: Now it's your turn to get out of my sight.
...
(4:36:43 AM) pooklet: If I had to choose? Like I really had to pick one or the other?
(4:36:53 AM) pooklet: Manson. If he showered. And I could put on headphones and zone out.
(4:37:07 AM) azaya: See, the problem there would be getting him to shower.
(4:37:12 AM) azaya: Billy, at least you can assume he's clean.
(4:37:13 AM) pooklet: Billy Corgan's nasal cries of ecstasy would cut through even the loudest of volumes and you KNOW IT
(4:37:27 AM) azaya: I'd ballgag him.
(4:37:41 AM) pooklet: ... OK, now, THAT, I think I can endorse.

(4:37:34 AM) beescratch: So help me if you tell me you find Klayton attractive...
(4:37:52 AM) azaya: Oh like there's anyone in my sector of the internet that doesn't already know that.

(4:36:16 AM) petitchat: I think I would prefer Dita Von Teese.
(4:36:17 AM) petitchat: Just saying.

(4:39:16 AM) beescratch: [inside joke about ball gags] OH OH! Would you, for a million dollars, do it with an unwashed Manson while a track of Billy Corgan's sex noises played?
(4:39:32 AM) azaya: Oh boy.
(4:39:37 AM) azaya: Better make it three million.
(4:39:54 AM) beescratch: Three million before taxes, or after?
(4:39:59 AM) azaya: After.
(4:40:04 AM) beescratch: XD Noted.
(4:40:29 AM) beescratch: Also, you can't close your eyes. *mean*
(4:40:46 AM) azaya: I'M OUT.
...
(4:47:47 AM) azaya: well come on, could you do it?
(4:48:09 AM) beescratch: Dude, I was out at "unwashed."
(4:48:19 AM) azaya: seriously.
(4:49:07 AM) beescratch: Like, I don't think I could even endure that if it meant 4 billion dollars and an end to world hunger.
(4:49:16 AM) azaya: That's pretty selfish of you.
(4:49:24 AM) beescratch: UNWASHED MANSON.
(4:49:44 AM) azaya: END TO WORLD HUNGER.
(4:50:25 AM) beescratch: Fine. YOU do it for nothing BUT the end to world hunger. And you have to look him in the eye the whole time.
(4:50:39 AM) azaya: Oh come on, I'm not that good a person.
(4:50:52 AM) beescratch: XD No one is.