azaya | Thistleburr: 3.4 (Reply)

last time:

we tried and tried to make family friends
severance star achieved her cult leader ltw
sandry died ._.
the kids went to college

so here we are in D-0RM-1 of UUU-N1, minding our own business, when lauren decides that it would be peak comedy to set off the sprinkler system.

fine, say i.

how droll, say i.

and droll it was. also moist.

uh... all right, i guess alexandra wants to get some of that sprinkler prank swag too. well, that's fine.

i mean, not fine. mainly wet.

oh, come ON! the sprinkler's still sprinkling from the last prank!

by the time they'd all had what i assumed was their fill of sprinkler pranks, the cafeteria looked like the bathroom.

this is the bathroom, for comparison. ...belizabeth, for fuck's sake.

belizabeth: what?

i hope you drop that thing in the all-in-one bathroom pod and flush it.

meanwhile, also raising my blood pressure,

scacia: you've got a voice like a megaphone. i'm not sure if i'm disgusted or aroused.

faintree: what can i do to swing it around to aroused?

scacia: flirt with me, i guess~

she seemed receptive, so faintree asked her on a date. she's not here to get her MRS degree, but she's not not here to get her MRS degree, if you know what i mean.

scacia had mixed feelings.

faintree: i mean, you left to class for three hours in the middle, i didn't really get a fair chance...

belizabeth: hey slut, listen to all the reasons i'm great!

honey: i'd rather suck cyanide through a hose!

the first upright nap of the update! historic.

these two bean burritos woke up and planted their asses right in their computer chairs to game and surf the web for game news, respectively.

while scacia passed out behind the cafeteria counter. fine by me.

belizabeth: —but there's just something so much more ergonomic about a controller versus a keyboard and mouse, i always have my usb controller in my fanny pack just in case.

faintree: i'm more mouse and keyboard myself, but your opinion is hecka valid!

gormrormrorm

faintree: looks like i finished that just in time!

belizabeth: *throws out plates at four a.m.*

bean burritos. butts in chairs.

belizabeth: do you like this better, overlord?

you watch it or i'm gonna drop a piano on you.

cooksy von foodburn ii: maybe it's time to retire.

faintree tried another date, who also left for class in the middle and bodied the whole thing. college dating seems tricky.

jaiden and amanda: oh gosh, oh no, poor birdie

cooksy von foodburn ii: i could travel, i could write that memoir i've been planning for so long...

honey:

i can't decide if this is better or worse than the gameboy.

belizabeth: right?

meanwhile, faintree asks regina on a second date, in hopes of a better outcome.

it, uh. wasn't.

it really wasn't.

faintree: PLEASE! regina and i have a real connection! give me a chance to save her soul, i won't let her down!

jenna: *passes out in solidarity*

grim: better luck next time, schlub.

faintree: :'<

elsewhere, belizabeth annoys the cheerleader.

belizabeth: but you're really pretty and your hair is so lush and you smell really nice—

jaiden: dude, not feeling it.

hunter's rampage continues. her name is apt. she's got a body count.

hunter: IF I CAN'T SETTLE DOWN AND HAVE A FAMILY, NO ONE CAN

next morning, it's back to this bullshit! i'm this close to taking all the sprinklers away except the one over the stove. this close. (imagine my fingers very, very close together)

scacia's still out cold.

foolishly, i thought i'd fixed the sprinkler issue, so i had belizabeth mop up the cafeteria sea. with 0 neat points, she had a fantastic time!

belizabeth: *grumbling* i'm gonna gameboy at the overlord SO HARD

then faintree pulled a severance star, just strutted over and planted one on scacia, who i guess woke up at some point?! i was so shocked i missed the actual kiss, all we've got is the aftermath.

seriously, how did you pull that off?

faintree: mom says confidence is sexy!

yeah, but this is borderline sexual harassment.

well, they both seem happy, so whatever.

faintree: CATCH, NERD

they did this for a while.

belizabeth: :|

no shit.

belizabeth: all right, sit your ass down. if you're gonna be dating my sister, i need to make sure you're good enough for her.

scacia: D:

but the siren sound of pokemon ruby in the flooded, fetid bathroom was too strong to ignore, and scacia escaped unscathed.

lauren: sure is weird that you're doing this here. :D

~ghost assignment~

the dormies went back to their sprinkler shenanigans. this time i made faintree mop it up.

jaiden: why do i feel like i'm in danger?

faintree: 8|

faintree got a phone call.

faintree: auntie esk, you already know me. if you want to hang out, you can just ask me normally.

eskhind: but my friend scacia

more upright napping. there's gonna be a lot of this, as there often is.

belizabeth: blizzy speaking... you want to come over? i, i, i, yes, great! come right now!

jaiden: *attempts to wake lauren with a rousing cheer*

jaiden: belizabeth~

belizabeth: sick.

belizabeth: you are a fine chunk of lady.

jaiden: tee hee

jaiden: kitchen dance, kitchen dance, kitchen dance, kitchen dance!

belizabeth's first kiss was a little less of a shock.

alexandra: hey if you had a big box full of money, what would you do with it? i'd go skeet shooting, like, every day

the date was briefly interrupted when brenda the cow mascot dared to show her bovine visage.

hoof to the face!

but jaiden prevailed. i guess the lesson here is don't mess with cheerleaders, they're in real good shape.

anyway, back to this.

professor ocean johnston: i bet it's nice in there

don't worry, it's not.

scacia's unconscious behind the bar again and lauren's still snork-mimimimimi'ing by the archway.

faintree: my girlfriend sure is asleep on the floor over there.

belizabeth: i know what to do. *plays pokemon ruby at earsplitting volume*

cooksy von foodburn ii lived up to her name and tried to hide the evidence.

oh neat, scacia woke up.

amanda: guys.

then pooklet reminded me that i could cherrypick some cute dormies instead of just sticking with the randomly generated template-faced ones, and i immediately remodeled the dorm to have more rooms and made some cuties. also, desma is here.

here's another one of the bespoke dormies, hazel. looks like she'll fit in great.

oho, faintree noticed deanna. i'm for it, scacia is... template-y.

belizabeth: hi, hot stuff, i'm belizabeth. that puddle behind me is not my pee. trust me. it's not. it's not even pee. if it is, though, it isn't mine.

hazel: hi

guess hazel believed her about the pee.

belizabeth: yesss

scacia: i'm still here.

i know. :|

belizabeth took a sponge bath in the cafeteria, because why not, it's not like there's a fully outfitted bathroom on the other side of the wall.

hazel: nice

flirting commenced.

hazel: ...i guess if i had to pick one single favorite, i'd say aipom. i love its horrible little face and bulbous tail-hand.

scacia: i'm in danger

hazel: *wafts in concert with a stinky old bowl*

deanna came and stood outside faintree's door for an hour while she slept. sweet. and weird. i like it.

oop, looks like hunter got jaiden.

...hey hunter, could you do me a solid?

hunter: just this once.

scacia: FUCK

belizabeth: oh dip, she started to stink right away.

desma: hey, can i have her blood? i'm just asking because it rots so fast, i really gotta get in there now while it's still good. anyone mind if i have her blood? i'm gonna drink her blood.

this room belongs to neither of you.

hazel: i like to nap in exotic locales.

honey:

they: this week was cool

both your girlfriends died

belizabeth: it's fine, we've got new ones. *smooch*

faintree: oh, thank goodness!

hazel suddenly ended the date apropos of nothing. okay, i guess?

everyone in the dorm was pissing and moaning about not having fun, so i gave them an arcade machine to fight over.

faintree: she looks so majestic playing that cabinet *swoon*