azaya | Thistleburr: 3.1 (Reply)

last time:

severance star returned to claim her heirship
she became a witch
she met a girl
that girl moved in

severance star: HNYARGH

great choice of activity when you're pregnant.

severance star: when i'm what?

severance star: the ambiance in this room would be perfect if not for this book left carelessly on the floor

severance star: there. perfect!

plates: *waft*

sandry: heh heh hah huh

chlora: *wafts hobby skill*

fernie got promoted, came home from work, and promptly passed out on the lawn.

fernie:

scrampfle: sister star, that soup is not smelling correctly like its ownself.

severance star: don't be silly, scrampf, this soup is gonna be bomb!

severance star: ah, balls!

scrampfle: mother is behinding this. i'm am knowing it.

severance star: i really thought this soup was gonna be fire, but it only caught on fire :(

flies: *RAVE*

severance star: well, waste not, want not.

scrampfle: *snorf*

severance star: think i'd rather waste and want. horf

severance star: aye, captain, 'tis clear as the eye can see. no unseemly burnt soups on the horizon to trouble the tum!

severance star: what the FUCK

i told you, chump

star is working on becoming the type of witch more befitting her personality. (evil. it's evil.)

fernie: how do you manage to spew cornflakes like that when you're eating scrampfled eggs?

severance star: it's my useless superpower. GORMRORMRORMRORM

sandry: so i'm thinking for my next novel, i'll write it in sharpie

fernie: of course, of course

chlora: you know that novel's gonna be trash, right?

fernie: oh of course! i'm just trying to be supportive.

severance star: you're a sweet little tangerine. wanna join up with my blueberry to make a weird fruit salad?

fernie: what?

severance star: what?

when fernie figured out this was star's attempt at a proposal, she said yes. and then they celebrated.

fernie: hehe fuck

fernie: hEhE fUcK

severance star: ah-OOM

severance star: GORMRORMRORMRORMRORM

severance star: whoa, i can see the whole kitchen from here!

fernie: BUHORK. uh-oh

god damn it, i hate concurrent pregnancies. the perils of an entirely queer game

fuck off, boots!

fernie: wow, star! you even manage to make pork chops fly off in bits of cornflakes! the chemistry of your body is truly incredible.

severance star: thanks babealooski. GORMRORMRORM

fernie: i guess the cornflake alchemy is particularly tiring.

or she's a dumb pregnant bitch who forgot where her bed is.

fernie: or that

sandry: what an absolutely perfect day!

severance star: sup, you got star. ...nah man i'm still the dumb kind of witch. but i'm working on it! diligently!

fernie: oh wow i really don't wanna put my face that close to this toxic toilet BARARRF

fernie: oo mrs. thistleburr oo~

sandry: yyyo

there's a lot happening here and it's all bad.

star, your bladder's about to let go, just use the damn thing.

severance star: overlord, have you seen these fumes? they're a uti waiting to happen! to ME!

she gave up and went upstairs to clog the other toilet.

plungy mcspectral: we need to unionize.

scrampfle: KILL no i'm am just playing, feather friend! your life is not in dangered.

fernie: think i might be pregnant.

yeah, think you might

severance star: 'scuse me

severance star: hold this

severance star: and i'll hold this

faintree

and ezsther. ezsther is a natural witch! welcome to the notwomb, boyos.

severance star: i think scrampfle should be a star.

you know what? yeah.

potteh training face. i feel like it's especially cute on sands.

abruptly, we voyage to the wedding chapel, which has made a grand return in teagarden moon. some bullshit by a waterfall never sparkled with me.

married in the sight of our lord and savior, dumpling sootling

scrampfle came along, but did not attend the ceremony.

scrampfle: mineself

barbie badgertree: that fernie is smokin'! i should call her.

nice of all these complete strangers to show up and fill seats. it's like a skyrim wedding.

wallowine: ah heck, i lost a contact lens. nobody move!

severance star: —then the zombies start pouring into the building and just ripping off body parts left and right—

barbie badgertree: stop, stop! i loathe the oversaturation of the zombie film genre!

fernie: *laughs alone in a corner*

star finally made it to evil. inaugural evil witch t-rex laugh!

sandry: *behaves irresponsibly*

sandry: i should buy a boat. or a hat.

fernie: *post-shit strut*

llevelyse: i can see, friend, from your exquisite coif, that you are a person of prestige. an intellectual! well, i know things about hedgehogs that would make your TITS TWIRL!

severance star: yeah girl, hustle. #girlboss

fernie, you are blisteringly pregnant. maybe pass on the beer for now.

fernie: no

fernie: oof, the room's spinning. what wicked potion has unseated me thus?

alana: should i propose to my girlfriend at this reception?

let's go home.

chlora had to stay behind to watch the babies.

chlora: star! i found ground apples! i thought the girls might like them. are they on solid food yet?

among the thistleburrs is a hunger for scrampfle to get promoted.

severance star: she's up for an ad campaign for nimmly numbles, the artisanal cat food brand of schmaltzy chow incorporated! i hope she gets it! that would fuck.

why clean the filthy, stinky tub when you could instead hold your nose?

fernie: think i might be bregant.

fernie: i should get engaged. i don't want a baby out of wedlock.

time to make some more, i GUESS

sandry: she's sleeping weird.

chlora: eh, looks normal enough to me

fernie: I am having a BABY

chlora: no way!

fernie: i made a baby! with fuck!

this is gonna be the one, guys, i can feel it. i stocked it with my secret weapon: it's fully about cats.

fernie: hey

so i rerolled for a baby that didn't have human skin for fully an hour, and then this happened, by which point my spirit was so broken that i said sure, why not.

fernie: hold this.

severance star: what is it?

chlora: hohoho, granddaughters

i knew it! i knew cats all the way down would do it! way to go, sands.

sandry: i think the sharpie really helped!

so let's meet the new trips. this is belizabeth.

celerity.

and samara.

samara is also a natural witch! a natural evil witch. naturally sandry can't abide that.

sigh. five simultaneous toddlers. why did i do this to myself?

sandry: you sure are small!

as usual, i forgot to put antlers on them in their initial makeover, but i remembered later.

five. simultaneous. toddlers. i want to die.

chlora: good job kissing my daughter! i assume

samara is star's favorite, the only one she'll do anything with autonomously.

wait, is that a bump?

NO. NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. that whoopsie went away and then i neutered the both of them.

go away, boots!

fuck that, they're growing up now!

faintree! very cute.

and ezsther. she was a beauty queen as a toddler, but i'm not sure where she's going with those cheeks now.

faintree likes her little siblings, which makes me like her. please take care of them for me. please.

ezsther: this is the right way to sit in a chair.

faintree: deffo

BOOTS.

severance star: so now that all the ol' tubes are tied, wanna start getting freaky?

severance star: it's not like we can have more babies.

fernie: i love consequence-free fucking!

belizabeth: HELLO???

fernie: severance star, this ground apple is amazing. you've gotta taste it!

severance star: okay. MLMP

it's a little hard to see what's going on here, but that's severance star, getting electrocuted.

faintree: o mortality, swiftly thou hast come into terrible focus!