Thistleburr: 2.2

[azaya]

real life is being kind of extra lately so it's time for some simsy escapism!

last time:

• sandry and chlora were wed
• they proceeded to become pregnant simultaneously
• adopted a kitten named scrampfle!!!
• they also had two other daughters, umbreen and lulihart

this wolf is named boots. he comes by and screams at the front door for hours every single day. he will never gain entry to this house and he needs to fuck off.


inside, lulihart discovers ~the power of reading~


unfortunately, she does not discover how to put the book back when she's done with it.

lulihart: looks right to me


umbreen was all about the creativity toys as a toddler and that has lasted into her childhood.


meanwhile, neither of her mothers are doing anything productive. chlora's not even making creatures in the spore creature creator!

sandry: but she IS a smokin' hot babe!


chlora: fine. i'll tuck in one of my kids. but only one!

aww, isn't that swee—


HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

umbreen: *snore*


lulihart: whee, i love fitness!

can't relate.


umbreen: i'm so good at reading. look, i'll do it with one eye closed.


aside from bouncing, lulihart absolutely loves spending time with scrampfle. she randomized the cat person trait and is making the absolute most of it.

scrampfle: hnfff


oh the times, they have a-change'd


so here's where things went a little off the rails. i, foolishly, decided to pick the funnier-sounding product to endorse, figuring what could it hurt?


well, it could hurt us to the tune of $20,000, apparently!

guess how much money we actually had?

why, a robust $19,000! so that went straight down to $0.


sandry: hey, i hope this isn't a bad time, but... ulp. :<

ah, ass. speaking of which, get yours over to thistleburr thaumaturgy.


scrampfle accompanied, for moral support.


but she was quickly distracted by the burning need to roll in the road.


scrampfle: i'm am softening it thus!

whyfor?


oh. doy.


sandry: why helLOOooOOoo there! come to give your money directly to me? not that i need it! ahahaHA! *sweats*


wait, she already had a bronze badge? then why is she still so bad at the cash register?

sandry: i think it's cursed :<


sandry: buy something or get out.


sands, you really oughta be, like, restocking or making sales or something, you know?

sandry: m'too pregnant.

you're not even showing yet!


well, now we've got a thousand smackers safely in the pocket, at least. this time when the shop leveled up there was no question what to go for. we'll take that sweet, slick cash, thanks.


sandry immediately blows five bucks on a coffee in her break room.


~ambiance~

also, i need to do something about that fucking clipboard, it's disgusting in this the year of our lord 'our flag means death' 2022.


did it rain while you were napping, scrampf?

scrampfle: why, yes... yes it did raimed....... definimtely..............

ew.


what the— how did she get in here? the shop's closed!

scrampfle: i'm was allowing her in thus! for pets.


we managed to scrape together about five thousand bucks in sales, so together with the letourneau prize i felt safe letting sandry go home.

sandry: hey, it's scrampfle! where ya been, buddy?

scrampfle: definitely not drimking mine own pee for no reason, certainly not


ah. the return of she.

chlora: hey guys, i brought money!

nowhere near as much as you LOST.

chlora: can't hear you over the jingle of that $1,208!


irene aivel: so i heard you might be having some money troubles...

chlora: $1,208, HAHAHA, WHAT A MIGHTY PROVIDER AM I


lulihart, on the bus: holy crap, is that mom

umbreen: shh, just pretend you don't know her

chlora: hahaHAAAAAA, I AM THE MAKER OF MONEY!!


chlora: on an unrelated note, i don't feel very well and will be staying home from work tomorrow.


irene: yes hello how lovely to meet you for the first time

sandry: we've been chatting for ten minutes...


your small business is THE MILITARY?! also, no.


sandry: that's great, but i'm more concerned about the basket of bitch on my lawn.

juiblex fruitsquish: *smizes*


lulihart: okay, scrampfle, we've already mastered speak, come here, and sit up. whaddaya wanna work on next?

scrampfle: nap


sandry: something's afoot in my stomach again.

chlora: we have plenty of money for a fourth child! that's no problem! no problem at all!! maybe if i move some cash out of scrampfle's college fund...


sandry: and how are you finding your crib? spacious?

umbreen: mom, i'm nine.


chlora: could a failure of a provider goose you like THIS? oh god lulihart mustn't see

umbreen: it's so peaceful in this direction


chlora gets to spend all her free time making up those two lost logic points. lulihart is happy to assist.

lulihart: rock, paper, scissors, shoot!


umbreen: —but as soon as it's his turn he's like 'IT'S ME, BOY, I'M THE PS5' and starts pointing like this!

lulihart: how droll!


sandry: —and then he's like, 'POTION SELLER! ENOUGH OF THESE GAMES.'

umbreen: and does the potion seller relent?

sandry: you'd think so, right?


a rare family breakfast! none of my sims are ever hungry at the same time, so this hardly ever happens for me.

umbreen: lulu, why're you sitting all the way over there?

lulihart: cuz i don't trust none of you nerds not to swipe my honey rolls!


but she'll sit close for group homework time.

lulihart: are you kidding? i'd love it if she stole THAT.


lulihart: jumpies, scrampfle! jumpies!

scrampfle: for ME!


sisters, sisters, there were never such devoted sisterssss


meanwhile, umbreen has discovered SSX3 and become infinitely more boring. she won't leave the damn thing alone for nothing.


i realized scrampfle needed some whiskers, so i sent chlora over to piendish pets, a local shop, to... purchase... some. just go with it.

chlora: ever flown on a vacuum? it's... unique.


what irresponsible shit honk let the bird out of his cage?


seriously, who allowed this?!


chlora: i'm kind of shy about kink, but we're starting to branch out. i just ordered some special handcuffs—

lila mornay: DUMB. YAWN.

wow. rude.


lila: whoa, who let the bird out?

I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO KNOW THAT.


chlora: i love ground-apple time. i should bake a pie.


umbreen's still playing SSX3. look, breenie, you're extremely cute, but that is not enough to secure your place as favorite. you gotta step it up.

umbreen: WOOOOOO


look at lulu! she's always hanging out with scrampfle, being adorable and getting stuff done.

umbreen: *raises voice* WOOOOOOO


instead of baking a pie, or working on her logic, chlora discovers the shunned birthday dartboard in the not-haunted basement. i'm sure this won't get on my nerves!


sandry's having a rougher pregnancy this time around, she spends at least half her time with her energy completely bottomed out. poor bean :(


still working on those lost logic points.

chlora: did you know the night sky has STARS in it? 8O


sandry: *BLORPF*


oh good, i'm sure THIS won't get on my nerves either!

umbreen: you said to step it up, if this doesn't count then i don't know what will, overlord!


why are you manifesting vomit?

umbreen: why aren't you?

touche.


umbreen: *throws darts telekinetically, apparently*


nap buds


lulihart: OH NO! but, but my mom's a master chef! :<


umbreen: *remembers she once liked art, or something?*


chlora: wha— where'd you hear about that? D:


oh good, it's lulihart's turn to get a game addiction!


occasionally they still play with each other, which is something, i guess.


chlora: *flings scrampfle at the ceiling*

bob lamp: glad it's not me, pthhpth!


nerd.


aww, i love the wretched little drawings they cook up at the activity table!


dude, come on! it wasn't enough to lose all our money, now you gotta ruin the bathroom too?

chlora: can't hear you over the sound of this relaxing bubble bath!


sandry: is it indigestion?


sandry: NOPE, IT'S WORSE!

chlora: oh my goodness, can't she see me sleeping here? how rude of her!


aselta! chlora's nose is... not great on a toddler, but i have faith she'll grow into it.


still working on that damn logic. also, aselta is there.


sandry: who's mommy's little princess? who is? 8D

aselta: why, 'twouldst be ME!


ah, this one i know. you shan't trick me again, sims 2!


but in fact she will not, and did not, because umbreen and lulihart are the only children in the whole neighborhood.


lulihart has a good day, too!


chlora: so, first you put your name at the top. next, whatever you do, do NOT trust anyone that comes to you with siren songs of convenient one-stop faxing and blending!

lulihart: this is math, mom.

chlora: still, though!


umbreen: *gets deeply involved in online console wars*


meanwhile, aselta gets a sunburn. at midnight. in the rain.


she's very interested in fitting things into her mouth, and not much else.


but i guess trying to eat a block counts as 'tinkering', so hooray!


sandry: BLORF


chlora: *sigh* she's so dreamy~

sandry: hugghhhhh


sandry: i think the vomit backwash melted some of my teeth.

chlora: dreamy~~~


sandry finally hired someone to run the cash register, though at this point she's got a silver badge and ain't bad at it at all. strictly speaking, this is a downgrade.


crossandra dequince: i have no sympathy for your position as a newbie, learning a complicated piece of equipment. NONE.


oh good, these horny idiots found the new couch. come on, do you have to do that with the gamecube right there? nintendo would NOT approve.


umbreen comes down to play darts because of course she does. don't sit on the couch, breen. don't even look at it.


chlora: she's making creatures in the spore creature creator? but i want to make creatures in the spore creature creator!

no. go find something to do.


chlora: *sigh* i guess i'll see if scrampfle's available...

sandry: smut


scrampfle had tasks, so chlora resumes calling all her friends to keep their friendships high.

chlora: only go on dates if they're guaranteed dreamy! that's just common sense.


sandry: good to see umbreen training with a deadly weapon. that's a 1d4, you know! they'll serve her well.


sandry: haven't been laid in awhile. maybe it's time.

chlora: girl, of course you're my best friend! why else would i call your ass on the phone?


chlora thistleburr, clogger of toilets, flooder of bathtubs, destroyer of pipes.


then she also clogged the doorway to the kids' room, causing umbreen to nearly pass out on the floor.

chlora: i'm multitalented!

umbreen: mother, please... please... i'm so very tired.......


scrampfle: WELL, MY NAME'S SCRAMPFLE THISTLEBURR AND I'M AM HERE TO SAYING—

nope. let's see what sandry's up to.


sandry: gasp! pregnant, me? this is such a surprise!

sigh.