Beetpoot: 1.1

[azaya]

The fuck is this? Another thing? A new thing?

So anybody remember that survivor challenge I was doing awhile back? It's fine if not, it was in 2014. I never finished posting it, but I did finish playing it. The pictures are old and bad, so here's the important parts: >> YES HELLO I AM A WEE PHOTO ALBUM <<

Anyway, Karolina won. Despite about twelve rounds of food poisoning contracted by eating out of the garbage can, she was nonetheless the only one not to catch on fire and die. So, now that I've remembered it years later, she gets the dubious honor of starting a fire-proof family of her own. I've never done an ISBI, so what better time?


Karolina holds the honor of not a single personality point, anywhere, and because of this was probably destined to win, as it made her my unquestioned favorite.


For some reason.

Karolina: *mouthbreathes*


Anyway, we brought Marvin Murderdeer along for the ride, as well as a couple other artifacts.

Karolina: Oh, neat. This bastard.

Marvin: niiiiiiice


Karolina: The Devil's bird! A fine omen.


If the house looks familiar, it's cuz I'm recycling the house from the long-dead Sparklecy. Here you can see the other remnants of the survivor house: the flame jet, safely stored next to the very flammable compost bin; and the graveyard fig tree, which is not liking the new soil. Down the road you can see a gas station; the local drive-in; and the Afterwards branch of Dave's House of Laughs, a tiny carnival that is not in a house, is not run by anyone named Dave, and doesn't produce much in the way of laughter.

Marvin: hey


Allow me to give you a tour. This is Karolina's kitchen, which sees very little use because the fridge is inexplicably full of the departed Sparkles' leftovers.


Karolina doesn't have a stove, just a hot plate. To make up for it, she also has every kitchen gadget I could find in my CC collection.


Lack of a stove isn't really a problem anyway, cuz this bitch loves pizza. I thought there was a Pizza Appreciator trait, but if so I don't have it, so I just pretend.


Living/dining/work room.






Officially she offers financial consulting from here, but all she actually does is play Spore.




Bedroom. There's no way ACR is gonna work with that bed setup, even with Use Inaccessible Beds, so instead I got her a nice couch for fuckin' on.


The neon sign is optimistic.




Bathroom, with soap dish octopus.

Well, Karo? How do you like your house?


Karolina: Fuck that Demelza. I hope she dies.

Hey, I asked you a question. House?


Karolina: Lounge-worthy.

Good enough!


So, what're you doing there? Consulting, in a financial capacity?

Karolina: Huh? Oh. Totally. Definitely not making creatures in the Spore creature creator, that's for sure.


Well, let's do something productive, then. Like go look for your true love.

Karolina: But I'm shy!


That explains why you beelined for the edge of the drive-in to dig a hole instead of socialize.


Karolina: Yeah, and it was totally worth it.

Was it?


Bronwyn the townie arrives, overdressed.


Bronwyn: Nobody dresses up to see the talkies anymore.


Karolina: This is a little easier on my neck. Now, to learn how to flambé.


At our next stop, Brainfreeze, Karolina continues ignoring everyone, but this time with ice cream.


Karolina: I don't like talking to people.

Me neither, but how else are you gonna meet ~*ThE oNe*~?


Not by poking Meredith Gashlycrumb, that's for sure.

Karolina: I enjoyed it, though!


Karolina and Meredith: RRRRRRRR


Karolina: Happy Feet is a SHOCKINGLY sexual movie to be showing to children and I don't care for it one bit!

A guy: Oh man, right?

Another guy: toot TOOT


Karolina: Yeah, I'm out trying to meet people. It's going okay.

Tiona Fritter: THAT'S SO COOL ++


Karolina: Hey there, empty bar stool, how you doin'?


Karolina: *sip*

Ham Fritter? Since when are you pregnant?

Ham Fritter, pregnant: I don't know.


Bargoers: *cluster*

Karolina: *ssssssip*


Kriemhild Fritter: You okay, man?

Karolina: Fantastic. Why?


Karolina: That Kriemhild isn't so special. Look, I've got a green cloud of my very own!


Back out we go, because Karolina has yet to find anyone that tickles her coot lips.

Gustav: *stares*


Karolina: L'AMOUR ET UN OISEAU REBELLE QUE NUL NE PEUT APPRIVOISER—

Everyone else on the lot: It's so peaceful in this direction.


Karolina: What happened to your eyebrows?

Almond: Eyebrows are for scrubs.


Sorry, Bailey the shoutwolf, nobody's home.


She's over at the secret laundromat high-stakes poker game, being irate.

Violet: Buy-in's twelve blue jolly ranchers.

Karolina: MADAM, THIS IS HIGHWAY ROBBERY.


Don't you want to clear that miasmatic soup bowl from three days ago?

Karolina: Nah. It seasons the sandwich.


I KNEW IT.

Karolina: Fine, you got me! But you'll pry the Spore creature creator, in which I make creatures, out of my cold, dead hands.


Philomena: *exists*

Karolina: whomst


She got Phil's number, and called her immediately to ask a terribly pressing question.

Karolina: WHAT TOPPINGS DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PIZZA?!

But her abrupt courtship of Philomena the black sheep from outer space had to wait, because suddenly Karolina decided the only thing in the world she wanted was a kitten.


Which, I mean, legit. So this is Teacup.


She sprinted inside with the baby, presumably to get her tiny kitten immune system out of the rain.


Teacup: *peeks*


Karolina adores Teacup, but you'd never know it from the stone face she pulls when she plays with her.


Karolina: I RESERVE MY EMOTIONS FOR ANGER.


Teacup: *snore*


With the baby down for a nap, Karolina resumes courtin' the space sheep.

Marvin: niiiiiiice


Philomena: Teehee, I am shy!


Karolina: Fifi? How'd you get this number?

Philomena: Ooh Miss Beetpoot ooh~


Gonna make some interesting babies, these two. Assuming you can close the deal, Karolina.

Karolina: Don't even worry about it.


Karolina: HOLY SHIT DROP EVERYTHING, IT'S A CAT

Philomena: Um


Karolina: Hootchie cootchie coo! A goochie goochie goo!

Philomena: not that this isn't very sweet but we are on an actual date at this moment


Karolina: Whowantsatreat? Who does? Who does?

Philomena: HEY WHILE YOU DO THAT IS IT COOL IF I THROW THESE AXES


Holy shit.


Unfortunately, before Karolina could befriend her, Scout the cute stray wandered off the lot, presumably never to return. So back to the date, while the timer rapidly ticks down.

Philomena: Want to kiss?

Karolina: Hell yeah I do.


Karolina: But first, let me waste another thirty minutes of the date timer giving you dumb compliments!

Philomena: *delighted gasping*


And then they wasted some more of the date on tickle fights. Not that this isn't cute, but you rolled a dream date want, Karolina, so let's get on with it.

Karolina: Will you unbunch your panties? I got this!


At length, the kissing finally commenced.


Karolina: See? Told ya.

Well done. Would you like a treat? You've earned one.


Karolina: How is this a treat?

How are you so ungrateful?


Karolina: Ohh, wait. Wait, I can shoot bees at people like some kind of laser-guided bee cannon? Okay, 'm on board.


Karolina: This vacuum makes a sweet ride, too.

See? Now it is I who have told you. Punk.

Marvin: hey


And with the advent of evil witchiness, Karolina can finally express on her face the wickedness within her soul.


Karolina: Phil! You'll never guess what I did today.

Philomena: karebear i am at work


Karolina: *cackles amongst the strawberries*


Hey, I just noticed your Mean-Spirited trait says you love getting in fights, but you got trounced in the only fights you've ever been in. I think it's time to bulk up.

Karolina: But my laziness!


Just chuck these axes til you get swole, okay?


Karolina: Well, if you insist, Overlord...


Karolina: I am the CZAR of axe-hucking. Look, watch me do it with both eyes closed!

Instead of that, I see you wish for a marshmallow. Turn on the flame friend and let's do that. You've earned it.


Karolina: Hooray, risking my life!


Karolina: Soon, you will be roasted and tender.


Karolina: Hey, watch me do this with one eye closed!

Quit tempting fate, dumbass!


Karolina: Fine, but only so I can throw MORE AXES!

I knew you'd enjoy it.


Karolina: Yet another skill, mastered. Ten thousand hours, my absolute ass.


Karolina: feck


Philomena wandered over in the twilight.


And Karolina was ready.


Karolina: Move in?

Philomena: *delighted squeaking*


Ho ho, neato!


They found the fuckcouch all by themselves! I'm so proud.






Philomena: Popped m'space cherry.


T͔̘͖͙͚̗͟ͅH͓̘͕̹E͏̤̦̖̟͔̗ͅ ̶̝̻̗P̹̘̦͢R̖̜̮O̠̝̼̯̼̣P̼͓͖͖H͏̲̖̭̘͔̤E͇̣̹̼̠͉̰C͏͎̪̻̥̱Y̼̮ ̹O̻̹F̀ͅ ̲͇̤̪̕Ț̱H͙̫̘̟͍͡ͅE̻̭̹ ͕̙̱̥̯̹͓ṢI͡G̩͎̮͉̹̜N̟̬̱ ̜͕̭I̬̯̙̫̪S̢̼͎ ͓̱͍͇F̶̝̪̼U̯͔̫͡L͉̪̩̖͕ͅF̦̱͕I̮L̘̗̪̯̺͖͖L̵͕E̹̟͕̜D̦̱͉̲̰̱͈͝

Now that there's a second sim in the house, let the ISBI-ing begin! Let's see how fast I regret this. 8D