Gashlycrumb: 5.5 (Plantbits)

[azaya]

So named in honor of the most recent Fiebelkorn update, 'Fishbits'. And now here's some ridiculous Gashlycrumb shenanigans. Gashnanigans. Shenanicrumbs!


Super Cat Pals chillin' out, maxin', relaxin'.


Theda: Room on that couch for two?~

Xena: I guess so, but I'm kinda comfy.


Plantish has become the official gentleman honey collector of Gashlycrumb Gentleman Honey Farm.


Plantish: Mostly I'm fine with it, but occasionally the bees try to pollinate me and it's kind of awkward. I don't want a bee baby.


Elsewhere on the homestead, there's just... a lot going on. As there often is.


Victor: Heck yeah, straight Fs. Cuz 'F' stands for fu—


Baby: *takes a nap to recover from all her nap*


[muffled Xerxes screaming in the simbin]


Victor: I did nothing of substance with my teenage years. Every day of my life is a precious gift and I have been wasting them. :|

Velvet: Eh, I never got into brother's pants, but otherwise it was okay.


Victor: I'M IN MY TWENTIES AND I'VE NEVER KISSED ANYONE WHO ISN'T MY SISTER MAYDAY MAYDAY CABBAGE BUMBLEBEE WHEEOO WHEEOO


Whisper: Happy birthday, Velvet!

Velvet: Thanks, brah.


Victor: ALGEBRA TAPENADE BANANA GUN


Meanwhile, adult Velvet, who is looking good.

Velvet: I can't wait for brother to see me


And a short time later, adult Victor.

Victor: My brain hurts.


Don't worry, Victor, you'll have plenty of time to nurse that headache in the sim bin!


Victor: Rude.

You can't see her, but Velvet went too. I like to imagine they got an apartment somewhere together where no one knows they're siblings.

While Velvet and Victor were striking out on their own to Simbin City, Varney tried to sneak out of the house with one of her friends.


Unfortunately for her, she ran smack into both parents.

Plantish: Where do you think you're going, missy?

Winnie: omg tish yr so hot when yr laying down the law to our kids


Varney: Aww, cheesedimples.


Varney: Man, you know what would be great right now? A salad!


Plantish: Varney, get yourself to bed. How could you violate my trust like this?

Varney: Can it wait? It's salad time up in this dining room


Varney: And bathtub


Whisper: Okay thx


Crap. Crap. Seriously, you guys? Two of your fully-grown adult children just moved out and your remaining daughter is already a teenager.

Plantish: What better time, really!


Varney: Whatcha up to, guys? National Geographic? Cool, cool. But turn it off, it's time for Pokemon.




Xena: Hello, dog. Would you like this stick? I found it, but I don't really need it.

Wolf: I believe I might be able to find a use for such a device, yes


Varney: How's it hanging, empty room? Keep on keepin' on!


Whisper: Buck up, little trooper! You'll sneak out one of these days. Don't rush it. Wait until the night is right.

Varney: I will! Thanks, Uncle Cat!


Winnie and Plantish: *are just disgustingly into each other for cereal you guys*


Varney: My face. My beautiful face. :|


The biggest accomplishment of both Xena and Theda's lives: max game enthusiasm.

Xena: We always dreamed of the day that our children would be struck blind by the sheer glory of our double hobby glow!

And you made it! Cuz you're the best - around - nothing's gonna ever keep you down you're the best - around


Oldest favorite sim got an update and now she roams the streets of Afterwards, leaving cuteness and green hair dye wherever she goes 8D

Hattie: First of all, how dare you. This dye is permanent.


Suddenly, Varney was at the arcade


Winnie: Man, my gut is rumbly tonight. Better go shower the hunger away.


Winnie: AHAHAHAHA. AHHHAHAHA. LIKE I'M REALLY DUMB ENOUGH TO THINK SHOWERING'S GONNA FIX MY FOODNEED


Winnie: Obviously, I just need to have a good lounge.

Whisper: Sup


Winnie: How am I still hungry? No matter. Writing in my diary will help.


Theda: Well, I'm sure if you just explain to the Rubik's cubes how you feel, they'll reconsider their decision that you can't join the We've Got Corners club! I'm sure they're reasonable, compassionate puzzles.


Winnie: Maybe if I try writing in my diary in this room.

At this point I was becoming genuinely concerned that Winnie might starve to death.


Theda: On it.


Theda: Aw yiss, some mothafuckin pancakes. No daughter is starving to death on my wand.

You mean watch.

Theda: I meant what I said.


What a heartwarming scene of a family meal!


Whisper: BOOOOOOOOOOOOAAARP


Plantish: What the hell was THAT? The earth itself shifted under my roots!


Plantish: Are we all going to die? I'm not ready to die! I haven't budded a plant baby yet! There's so many spores I haven't shot out of my nose!

No, no, it's just your dumbass brother-in-law.


Plantish: Oh. OH! Yeah. No, I knew that. I totally knew that.


Xena: Hey, kid, you've got like a hobby or something, right? Good job with that. Keep it up.

Winnie: Thanks, Ma!


Varney: Heya Mom. Heya Parent. Plowing the fields, eh? Pruning the hedges? Laying some topsoil? Sprouting a taproot? Sunning the buds? Tying up the tomato cages?

Plantish: Yup


Whisper: ...a buff baby that can dance like a man! I can shake-a my fanny, I can shake-a my can!

Xena: Will you shut up? I want to hear him sing it, not you.


Plantish: Hey there, Lucy! Getting enough sun? How're your two sprouts doing? Wow, a full ride to an ivy-league school? Get out of here! More water, Raymundo? But of course!


Plantish: Now, now, don't push, there's plenty for everyroot... what, Fergie? Of course it's mineral water! What kind of rube do you take me for?


Plantish: HELP, I DON'T EVEN HAVE HUMAN BITS ANYMORE


Well, looks like she found her way out somehow. Let's not investigate how. Hiya, Vladimir!


Vladimir: All the Vlads in the house say HEY


Winnie: THAT WAS THE MOST DISTURBING BIRTH I HAVE EVER WITNESSED PLEASE SOMEONE RINSE OUT MY EYES

Theda: Okay, hold still... I know I've got an eyewash spell around here somewhere...

Varney: This seems like a bad idea Mom

Xena: Hello reader


Whisper: This toilet hasn't been clogged for awhile... maybe it's time.


Xena: Oh, heya Bones! How's tricks?


Grim: Just about out of time, since you asked.

Baby: Hey guys I brought money


Xena: NO LOOK IT'S UPSIDE DOWN I'LL FIX IT

Grim: Please do not


Everyone: BAWWWWWWWWWWWW

Whisper: IF ONLY HE'D LET HER PUT IT RIGHT-SIDE UPPPPPPPPP


Vladimir: Wow, world, you don't pull any punches, do you?


Vladimir: 'WELCOME TO THE NOTWOMB, VLAD, YOUR GRANDMA'S DEAD'


Varney: Oh my god look at YOU 8D

Vladimir: Well... at least I have the rest of my family :'>

Whisper: You guys look I learned how to displace my molecules through solid matter look guys guys are you looking


Theda went to the strip mall.


Theda: Hey cuz.

Kriemhild: Hey

Velma Pinhill: OMFG KRIEMHILD I TRIED TO JUMP INTO YR ARMS WHY DID U NOT CATCH ME


Kriemhild: I need an adult

Theda: I think I qualify, technically.

Velma's hand: *waves impotently*


Demelza: Ooh Miss Gashlycrumb ooh~

Minty Spikes: *disapproves*


Guess Plantish can cross 'shoot out spores' off xir bucket list.


Winnie: Basically everyone in this house was raised by Alien Head. It's basically our real parent. Get to know it, you'll understand.

Alien Head: ANOTHER FRESH, MALLEABLE MIND TO MOLD. THIS PLEASES ME. I WILL DELAY THE DATE OF EXTERMINATION TIL THE NEXT BLOOD MOON.


Varney: AW YEAH CAUGHT RESHIRAM WITH ONE FUCKIN ULTRA BALL


Baby: Dude. I am so tripping balls right now.


Winnie: I got the munchies, myself 8D


Why the long face, Plantish? You're outside and getting loads of sunshine.

Plantish: I HATE THIS


At least you're tripping balls on endorphins?...

Plantish: BAGEL WATER BRUCE WILLIS


Varney: Did we just become best friends?

Alien Friend: YUP.

Varney: Do you wanna go do karate in the garage?

Alien Friend: YUP.


It's the circle of life. Or the circle of childhood destruction, whichever.


Whisper longs to be a pool shark, but he's only ever going to be a pool cat.


Super Cat pals posing majestically for their hordes of adoring fans.


...wow. Wow. Guys, I think I found Whisper's real dad!


Vladimir: PAREEEEENT PUT ME TO BEDDDD HOW AM I GOING TO GROW UP BIG AND STRONG TO SERVE MY EXTERRESTRIAL MASTERS IF I DON'T GET ENOUGH SLEEEEEEEEEPPP

Plantish: First thing tomorrow that creepy alien toy is going to meet the business end of a lighter and a can of hairspray.


Plantish: Whosaprettygirlden! Whois! WHOIS!

Whisper: Curse that Winnie for not corraling her spouse. Xe is cutting into my bro time with Baby.


Whisper: Fiiine I guess I'll get bro time with Varney then.

Varney: Rad! Can you teach me how to glow like that?


Varney: This flesh sandwich is palatable.


Then I switched to Pooklet's fantastic cat eye replacements because I found where the old default I had was hiding in my downloads and eradicated it. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧


Whisper: We shared a beautiful broment and this is how you repay me?


Varney: 'BROMENT'? I JUST... CAN'T... FIND THE WILL TO LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE THAT IS ALLOWED


Baby: I thought you were supposed to be teaching me how to play dead so as to facilitate my promotion at my job of employment.

Varney: Well, yeah, I'm just trying to give it some backstory.


Whisper: Hi, Plantish!

Theda: You are not right in the brain.


Which fucking dild made salad at lizard thirty in the morning


Plantish: Good job being my best friend forever! It's a difficult job, but someone's gotta do it.

Theda: That means so much to me. Thank you.


Whisper: I am fix this washerdish.


Whisper: Failure


Plantish: Yes. YES. RAIN DOWN ON ME, SUN.


Why the assdamn are the cops showing up we did not summon them


Oh.


Theda: The question is, how disgusting must the poop studio be for me to be able to smell it at the other end of the house through four walls?

Probably pretty bad. You gonna scoop it, or?

Theda: Are you mad, Overlord? I could DIE. I have GRANDCHILDREN.


Vladimir: I'm doing a thing.


Vladimir: A BIRTHDAY thing. B)


Aw for fuck's sake, why did you wait til the end of the goddamn generation to be born LOOK AT YOU ;_____;

*RAGEFLIPS THIS UPDATE INTO THE SUN*