Fritter: 9.1

[azaya]

Generation nine begins!


First, though, Zola behaves like the creepy creep she is inside.

Almond: *likes this*


Zola: *makes out with a more appropriate target*

Almond: *likes this!*


Zola: I should be weirded out by this, shouldn't I?

Yeah, you should, but you're kind of a lost cause by now, so don't lose any sleep over it.


Still, I thought it best to make it official before Crystal saw enough of Almond to change her mind about joining the family and coming to live in the ancestral shitshack.


Lots of strangers friends-to-be showed up to wish them well!


Theda: Hey, cuz, good taste!

Can't say the same about that townie in the background.


Zola: Good thing her eyes are closed or she'd see there is no cake on this fork.


Crystal did get some cake eventually, though. I like that face she's making.


Also this one.


Hey, Zo, we have cleanbot for that, you know.

Zola: And cleanbot's great! No one likes cleanbot more than me. I just think that this particular puddle needs a human's touch.

Never mind that you're an alien former-werewolf, not a human.

Zola: Shouldn't you be crushing children's dreams or something?


Almond: Hey, Crystal.


Almond: Hey, Crystal.


What a sensible seating arrangement!




Miss Pretty: The bastards! At last they place something worth eating on the floor, and it's a mere plate of sandwiches! As God is my witness, I will have their souls for this! ...*munch*


Spectacular.


Well. I guess when I was talking about cleanbot earlier it was really six of one, half a dozen of the other. D:


I made over Zola's bedroom. Actually I made it over twice, but the first makeover only lasted about ten minutes. (If you're curious, it's on my simblr somewhere.)


This seems more her, I think.


Almond: Hoo. What smells like hot death?

That'd be cleanbot, going on a rampage. You wanna maybe turn it off?

Almond: Nah.


Miss Pretty: Soon.


Zola: Hzzzzwha? Hmrnph. I feel like something terrible is about to happen...


Zola: THE FUCK? GIVE ME BACK MY DRIFLOON PAJAMAS!


Almond: Your pregnancy belly fills out that dress so nicely! Let me see if it feels as nice as it looks...

Zola: *accepts this with pleasure*

azaya: *horks into a cup*


Crystal: Wait a second here. Just wait one second. You're pregnant now? But I'm pregnant! I've been pregnant! How are we supposed to deal with two babies at once? Not to mention I can't believe you'd steal my thunder like this.

Zola: I had literally no idea that you were pregnant until this moment.

Yeah, I... see in retrospect that I didn't take a single pregnancy picture of Crystal. Oops.


Crystal: Oh, whatever, I'll just have the baby now.

Everybody welcome Kriemhild!


Miss Pretty: Next time I tell you to cease your dancing, you cease your dancing!

Avian creature: But I must dance!


Crystal: Good! Now say 'Mommy carried me around for three whole days and didn't get a single picture's worth of recognition for it!'

Kriemhild: Ma!


Almond: Hey, Zola.


Zola: Hello? Oh, hi, sure, I remember you. You ran off after I tried to chat you up. Why are you calling me now?


Zola: You want a second chance? Sorry, babe, I've moved on. I'm a wife and mother now. Nice chatting with you, though.

Almond: Finally getting revenge for old rejections is so delightful!

Crystal: Goddamn, Almond skeeves me out.


I keep catching Almond autonomously playing with Kriemhild.

It worries me.


Almond: What? No, it's fine! Totally fine. It's fine.


Seriously, what are you plotting?

Almond: Absolutely nothing.


She's like a day old and already she likes you more than either of her moms.

Almond: You can't blame me for that! It's not my fault they're bad parents.


Kriemhild: PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER


Asshole O'Spectral: *serenely ignores the stack of rotting dishes*


Crystal: Zzzz... What a peaceful night...


Wrong.


Willow!


Miss Pretty: Not soon enough.




No, Almond, you can't give the babies away!


Sigh.




Sigh.


When she's not doing that, she's autonomously teaching the babies everything they need to live and grow, and possibly become homicidal maniacs.


Miss Pretty: STREWTH


Guess which of these two was actually told to do this.

Zola. It was Zola. Almond's still just being a creepy creep.


There, Crystal, you've been documented horfing into the toilet. This pregnancy shall not be stealth.

Crystal: I just want *hurf* recognition for my efforts.


Willow: But, but this is my bottle! Mom gave it directly to me! She placed it in my very hands!


Kriemhild: And now I'm taking it with mine!


Kriemhild: Oh, here's my bottle. I guess you can have that old one, then. I don't want it anymore.

Willow: Yay!

Kriemhild has one nice point. Willow has about twelve.


Miss Pretty: One day I will bury you all and use your graves for my litterbox.

Disapproving Frog: *disapproves of Miss Pretty's vengeful and rather disgusting imagination*


Because the load of things requiring disapproval is such a heavy one, I put in something new to pick up some of the slack. Say hello to Disapproving Bear.

Disapproving Frog: *disapproves of this attempt to jack her swag*




Zola: *talks at length about war and peace*

Almond: Sure, yeah, I totally care about your political opinions. Could you just shift that one leg a little farther to the left?


Willow: I'll teach you to be inappropriate toward my beloved mother, villain!

Almond: I do not appreciate this!


Miss Pretty didn't appreciate this either, but she had the grace to keep from vomiting to show her displeasure.

That, or she hadn't eaten recently enough to get a good wad.


Dear God.




Zola: Oh... hey, Mom, how's it going?

Greer: It's about to be great, sugar pea.

Disapproving Bear: *disapproves of werewolves coming into the house uninvited*


Zola: OW MOM QUIT IT

Greer: NO, I MUST SAVAGE


I missed Were-Zola.


Meanwhile, Almond continues cozying up to the kids.


Purposeful acknowledgement of Crystal's pregnancy, take two


Almond tries teaching Kriemhild to walk. Mr. Shrieky looks on in horror, as is his wont.


Aww, that's kind of adorable, if totally impractical. She just wants to pass on her love of ~GRILLED CHEESE~!




Kriemhild: Whoa, I have FINGERS!


She also has copious amounts of cute.


Because there's nowhere more practical to do that wand-swishing thing than in the bedroom of the sleeping pregnant lady, natch.

Crystal: *dreams herself a beautiful life in which there are no Almonds anywhere*


I just give up. At least she gave Willow a bottle first.


Zola: Hey. Hey, Kriemhild. Kriemhild. Kriemhild, hey. Kriemhild.

Kriemhild: Just a sec, Mom, I'm trying to practice, but if it's really important...


Kriemhild: Okay, what's up?

Zola: Fucking GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Then Kriemhild peed herself. I'm not sure if it was in fear or in helpless rage.


Almond: Sup.




Kriemhild: Fuck you, Mom! Fuck you! Fuck you! 8D


Almond: No, sweetie, the power comes from the foot! Step into it and really give it to me!

Jesus Almond your phrasing


Zola: Oh my God, though, right? Grilled cheese?

Zola, you're a dear, but you're not very bright.


Willow: Mom? Hey, Mom? I'm having my birthday... Mom?


I think she's still sleeping her pregnancy off, buttercup.

Willow: Oh, well. I guess she'll see me when she wakes up.


Kriemhild: I've stolen all the wealth in the world, copper! Try and stop me now!

Willow: The hammer of justice will be swift and merciless, dastardly scumsucker.


Miss Pretty even lets Willow pet her. I'm sensing some favoritism.


Almond: Another baby! How magical!


Almond: But get out, I have to piss a resevoir.


And a tiny butler named Jasmine was born! I promptly forgot her name and have been thinking of her as Tiny Butler ever since.