azaya | Fritter: 5.2 (Reply)

I have such a backlog of Fritter pictures that, not counting this one, I'm three updates ahead x__x I just have to stop putting it off and edit them! Anyway, for now, the next installment of life at Chateau Fritter.

Rozz: Oh look, honey! There's the Big Dipper!

Sheldon: And there's the Big Weiner!

Bilquis: Are you knocked up? Your bust looks bigger.

And with those two pictures to set the tone, welcome to this update, readers!

Tierney: C'mere, Miss Pretty, there's a treat for you on my shoulder!

Miss Pretty: A treat, you say?

Miss Pretty: Wha— oh, I see, there is no treat, you merely selected that as a pretext for getting a hug. Hohoho! How droll.

Less droll: Miss Pretty's bowl, standing empty, while people make out over it. How thoughtless!

AND SPEAKING OF THOUGHTLESS. That is not your bed, you guys, come on D: I know it's the bed in which you deflowered each other, but that actually only makes this creepier.

If you knew what was happening in your bed right now you wouldn't be making that face.

But then ACR sent her and Tierney upstairs for a revenge fuck in Valor and Florence's bed so I guess that's that. XD

Rozz: Hello, Your Furriness. Could I trouble you for a nibble?

Widget, or Wang, I Forget Which: Certainly, good sir, if I could trouble you for a belly rub.

Rozz: It would be my honor!

Rozz: OW FUCK I DIDN'T REALLY THINK THIS THROUGH

Bilquis: ROZZ! ...You need a shave!

Sheldon eventually remembered he had offspring to care for. Valor and Florence still don't seem to have registered Eustace's existence. Thank goodness for grandmas.

Nor has Sheldon noticed... certain changes.

Sheldon: Changes? You mean like Theda's haircut? Of course I noticed that, she looks precious!

...Yeah. Sure, like that.

Tierney: Boy, I could go for some sex right about now.

That's maybe not the highest priority while you're holding your grandson?

Though honestly, underpants-clad Tierney thinking about sex while hefting Eustace isn't even the weirdest thing happening here. Never change, Fritters.

Rozz: So I know I'm a lot hairier now but I hope that won't affect your attraction to me.

Sheldon: Are you kidding? Werewolves are hot! Get over here and maul me. ;D

Theda: *is present, and also smelly*

Almond: Oh, there you are, Theda.

Are you going to remove the baby to a safer place?

Almond: Nah.

Just checking.

Bilquis decided to make sure that Eustace couldn't get himself into a similar situation. Good call, Bilquis.

Almond doesn't like screaming toddlers any more now that they're her great-great-grandchildren than she did when they were her actual children. Can't say that I blame her.

Valor: Holy crap, I'm tired.

Valor: You think you could watch the static another time so I can take a nap, Nana Almond?

Almond: Nah.

Rozz: Urp!

Oh, good. :}

Rozz: So I've got a bit of a bombshell to drop... I'm pregnant.

Florence: Dude, that's really not that shocking, I mean, I was pregnant and so was your green space husband.

Florence: But if you want I could play you a song of sympathy on this tiny violin!

Rozz: Oh, I hear classical music is supposed to be good for babies :>

Valor: Shitdamn I'm tired.

Valor: Hanging out with Florence will fix that!

But it didn't, so Valor investigated other solutions:

Valor: Hey, Nana Almond, wanna—

Almond: Shh, Valor, Nana's watching her cooking shows. Today we're making a goat cheese and heirloom tomato frittata. Topped with crème fraîche. Oh, fuck yeah.

Fruzsina: Is Rozz there?

Valor: He is, but unfortunately I'm going to pass out on the floor here before I can get him for you.

Valor Fritter, master of the self-fulfilling prophecy.

Literally ten seconds later:

Valor: Hey Florence, you know that burglar who broke into our house recently?

Florence: Yeah, I hate that fucker!

Sheldon: How are you awake?

azaya: *is wondering the same thing*

Miss Pretty: You fool. Just because I have not yet severed your spinal cord does not mean I will not do so in the future.

Tierney: *snuggles Miss Pretty anyway*

After hitting elder, Tierney basically never wore clothes again. She occasionally changes into formalwear when she goes to play the violin, but only because she maxed Music and Dance enthusiasm. Otherwise, it's almost always panties time.

Again. Can't say that I blame her.

Eustace is cute and, for some reason, downstairs. Which sucks for him since all his toys and his bed are upstairs. But look how cute he is.

The karaoke machine still exists. I've mostly stopped getting pictures because there's always someone on it and if I took a picture every time there would be no room for anything but karaoke pictures. You know, as opposed to there being no room for anything but sex jokes.

Rozz: Even this baby shit seems magical when Sheldon is in the room.

Sheldon: *leaves*

Then Valor fell asleep again. At least he managed not to pitch over this time!

Sheldon: *worries about Valor and his dire lack of energy*

Florence: It's not that I don't care, it's just that it's the Grilled Cheese Hour on the cooking channel right now.

Eventually, though, Florence went to bed and Valor woke up long enough to follow her.

Sheldon was relieved.

What're you doing, Almond?

Oh.

Theda grew up!

So did Eustace! They're both a couple of precious muffins, in my opinion, though for being first cousins they sure don't look related.

Eustace: *immediately proves himself to be his father's son*

What're you doing, Sheldon?

Sheldon: I was just so worried about Valor, I had to come back and make sure he was still in bed!

That's thoughtful, but you don't need to do that. That's my job.

Sheldon: Well... yes, but you like to let him pass out on the floor in a puddle of his own drool.

Yes. Yes I do.

No reason. I just thought this was sweet, especially since snuggling is usually the highlight of my week too. :>

Rozz: My word, this trashcan is full! Better empty it right now.

Sheldon: Oh, hon, I would've gotten it, I just had to go first—

Rozz: NO! NO TIME. RIGHT. NOW.

Rozz: WHY CAN'T I TAKE A BUBBLEBATH RIGHT NOWWWWWWWWWW

Because the tubs in this house have a capacity of one. But if you're good maybe I'll get you a hot tub.

Heh. 'Wolf' whistle. Get it? Wolf whistle? Eh? Eh?

Gratuitous Miss Pretty~

Gratuitous makeouts.

Miss Pretty: Tonight, avian creature, prepare to meet your maker.

I'm fairly sure its maker would be a factory somewhere, actually.

Miss Pretty: THE FEATHERED CREATURE! IT RETURNS!

Rozz: *gazes*

Sheldon: *is aware of Rozz's gazing and does not appreciate it*

Rozz: What better time to empty the toddler potty but now?

Yeah, Rozz, the lack of appreciation for the intense wolf-gazing? This could be why.

Miss Pretty: MURDER

Theda: Aww, whosa good kitty? Izzit you? Izzit you?

Miss Pretty: Perhaps if I grin and bear this foolishness, I will be given access to the feathered creature's secret nest, where I can stamp it out once and for all.

Spoiler: no.

Most of the adult Fritters kept rolling the want to buy a vacation house, and since god knows these lazy jerks are rich enough to afford it, I built them a vacation house. And then sent a few of them off to test it!

So this is the Fritter ancestral vacation house. Or something. I have some backstory for the vacation spot, Pincushion Island, which I'll probably get into more in the next update. For now, look! It's a giant house. And it's blue. Shocker.