Fritter: 4.6

This generation is really hanging on. I blame Nicole.

Because why not? And also, it really is her fault. I realized about five minutes after she died that thanks to her stalking shenanigans, I spent most of my time paying attention to her instead of my heir candidates, and as a result I hardly know my fourth generation. Whoops. Welp, now you get to learn about them along with me.

Tierney? I wouldn't stand that close.

Dulcinea: *dance dance dance*

Dulcinea: Oh look, a penny! And totally not my gross parents eating each others' faces, yuck!

Dulcinea: Oh, no, they're looking this way! Better duck.

Bilquis: We have a very strange daughter, Tierney.

Tierney evidently disagrees.

Rozz: Yay, school and learnings!

Dulcinea: Yay, no school ever again!

And yet they both rolled Knowledge.

Dolly, you know you can't max any skills dancing all the time, right?

Dulcinea: Shh. I'm maxing my sweet moves skill.

Valor: Mom. Mom. MOM! Mom, I got an A+! I got an A+! MOM!

Tierney: *plays an A sharp in semi-acknowledgment*

Valor: Yesss. The band will be mine.

Rozz: *ignores that challenge*

Dulcinea: You're wasting your time anyway. Your band sucks.

Valor: *doesn't think much of Dolly*

Dulcinea: Seriously, your band's never gonna go anywhere. Ever.

Tierney: Dolly, there's no need to be so cruel...

Valor: It's okay, mom. She'll regret this when I'm heir.

Dulcinea: Bring it, post-it note.

Valor: You're just jealous because you have no talent! Don't be such a baby.

Dulcinea: Whatever, pipsqueak.

Bilquis: *happy sigh*

Bilquis: Our life sure is grand, isn't it, my love?

Tierney: Yeah! Ever since Nicole kicked it, my quality of life went way up.

Rozz: I really hope I'm heir, Nana Almond. I don't think I'm cut out for a desk job.

Almond: Oh, pumpkin, don't worry about it. No one in this family is cut out for a 'job'!

Almond: Besides, the only skill that really matters is—

Rozz: D8

Valor: So, don't you think it's time you moved out of here? I mean, you're just getting kinda old.

Dulcinea: Dude, don't even bother. I got this heir thing all locked up.

It's true, you are gorgeous.

Miss Pretty: What new fuckery is this?

Almond: No... no, we don't need to upgrade our cable package, thanks.

Tierney: ...

Almond: Look, no, okay, we already get HBO, we don't need Showtime!

Tierney: ...

Almond: ...adult-only channels, you say?

Tierney: ... B>

Almond: *says exactly what you're thinking, yes*

Tierney: Go on. OwO

Looks like there was a bit of an oversight at My Muse, eh?

Almond: *is giddy with anticipation for those channels she ordered*

Dulcinea: *is tempting fate*

Miss Pretty: Hmph. I was actually a little bit lonely this time, so I shall not slice open your jugular. Yet.

Bilquis: HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN HERE, I HATE THAT I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT

Almond, it's generally frowned upon to punch people in the tit! Especially when those people are your relatives. >:|

Dulcinea: *doesn't seem to mind*

Gross.

Tierney: *continues to be rad*

Seriously, what is it about that chair? Nicole sat in it to watch her daughter and her inappropriate object of obsession have sex, Almond, what's your excuse?

Almond: Feels good under my tush.

Dulcinea: God, who even cares? We're like kajillionaires.

Not really, but given how much money you've all made for doing absolutely nothing, you might as well be.

Miss Pretty: THESE ARE MY LANDS, INTERLOPER! TAKE YOUR YELLOW DRESS AND YOUR GIGANTIC BOOTS AND GO SOMEWHERE ELSE BEFORE I RIP OUT YOUR KIDNEYS AND FEAST UPON THEM.

Brunette von Bumpit: *wisely hightails it the fuck out of there* D8

Rozz: I've heard handcuffs are fun.

Almond: You've heard right. ;D

Miss Pretty: *continues to be a tough critic*

Valor: Goddamn I am a magnificent hunk of man.

Rozz's LTW is to max 7 skills. We're working on cooking.

Rozz: So, Valor, it's almost time for us to figure out what we want to do with our lives. You worried?

Valor: Psh, not even. I'm gonna be heir and buy myself an airplane.

Bilquis: *joins*

Bilquis: An airplane in which you will of course take your mother for rides, eh?

Bilquis: I've always wanted to travel!

Valor: Yeah, mom, sure. Shit, I might buy a boat too.

Bilquis: Uh...

Rozz: Bro, we live in a desert.

NOPE.

Allegiances are formed.

Almond: Hot damn, kid, you just beat a Kingdra with Ninetales! You've got my vote for heir!

Tierney: Wow, that was a lucky Horn Drill!

Almond: No, Almond, control yourself... no calling moves cheap, even if they are...

...This makes me nervous.

Rozz: Don't stand, don't stand so, don't stand so close to meee...

Almond god damn it

Bilquis: *studies, suspecting nothing*

Wait, why should she suspect anything?

Oh. Well, I sort of expected that, to be honest.

Uh... what're you doing there, Tierney?

TIERNEY

Tierney: What? Huh? I'm not doing anything!

IT WAS JUST A 'FAMILY KISS' BUT I AM NOT FOOLED 8|

Everyone is hungry because I spent too much time being flabbergasted at Tierney to tell anyone to cook and lately no one is doing it autonomously, so Almond magics up some dinner.

Really? Poptarts are the best you can do? You're like a level eight thousand witch.

Almond: Hey, hey! They're strawberry milkshake poptarts!

Ohh. All right.

Almond: Shyeah, that's what I thought. I can always count on this baby.

Dulcinea: You know, it takes more than just good grades to be heir.

Rozz: Like what? Extensions?

Dulcinea: Haha! Ha! Slander my hair again and it'll take a platoon of cops to get my hands off your throat. 8D

Bilquis: So I invented this new lube today in my cauldron!

Bilquis: It never loses its slipperiness.

Tierney: Does that have anything to do with why you're shedding blue blobs of glitter?

Overachiever here has four cooking points and still didn't burn these fuckers.

Rozz: Heh, heh. Fire.

Valor: *scents ~~blood~~ syrup*

Almond: I JUST CAUGHT THEM ALL! 8D

Bilquis: Those look good!

Rozz: *eats and desperately ignores*

Valor: So eggs! Eggs are good, huh? Eggs are delicious. If I were an egg I could die happy. God this is so awkward.

Tierney: *has the best week ever, sitting in her undies with her teenage son*

Then I added Disapproving Frog to the ballroom. I can't believe it took me this long to do that.

Disapproving Frog: *disapproves of having been added so belatedly*

Valor: My awesome game face makes me the logical choice for heir.

Bilquis: FREEBIRD!

Dulcinea: Wow, you can get blood out of fur by putting cornmeal on it and combing it backwards?

What the fuck are you reading?

Rozz: MOM, WE SAID NO LEGENDARIES!

Bilquis: *orders Mewtwo to use Psychic*

Rozz: I quit, you're a cheater.

Bilquis: Loser.

Sharp learning curve ahead.

Miss Pretty: THE BLUE SPARKLIES. WE MEET AGAIN.

Valor: Whoa, dude, check out my killer yukata!

Rozz: BUT COLLEGE

Valor: OH MY GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT

Sigh.

Almond and Tierney: *are super concerned, supportive relatives*

Almond: Nah, it's fine, the doctor's taking care of them.

D8 So he is.

Valor: I like your skin coat!

After some... therapy from Doctor Serial Murderer, adult Rozz!

Adult Valor.

Guess what, Dolly.

Dulcinea: I know. I'm not heir.

You're not. :(

Dulcinea: Hey, that's okay! My new house will be spotlessly clean.

That's the spirit!

Off Dolly goes, to seek out a house to clean from top to bottom.

Rozz: *is smug*

And that's it for this update! We'll see who our heir is next time. Is this a poor attempt at a cliffhanger, or sheer laziness? You decide!

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh my gawrsh skin coat doctor!
Oh my gawrsh Tierney have you learned NOTHING?
Oh my gawsh Miss Pretty gets LONELY? ;~;

I wont lie, I fell a little in love with Rozz in this update.. mostly due to those endearing/inappropriate chats with Almond, I think? <3

"It puts the lotion on its skin...or it gets the hypno-wheel again" DX

...that's the only thing I could think of when I saw the Doc...:P

Hi, long time lurker popping in to say how your commentary is always A+.
Valor is such a little shit I love him. And I hope you don't mind me asking but where can I find Valor's hair? I've been looking for a Pooklet version of that hair forever.

oh my god the doctor and his skin coat...
lovely update as always :)

I must say, I love Valor's and Rozz's faces! Tis a shame Dolly is not hair, as she is quite pretty. :)

Fun update! :)

*Votes for Valor*. And three cheers for the ear-wiggling bat!

Heh, yeah, Almond is... not the best at judging the appropriateness of discussion topics. But that's one reason I love her.

TIERNEY HAS EVIDENTLY LEARNED NOTHING.

Lol, I didn't think of that specifically but he definitely did make me think of Buffalo Bill!

Thank you! :D

I did Valor's hair, actually! I haven't shared it yet but I will in a day or two.

Yeah he startled the shit out of me when I first saw him.

Thank you! :)

I love their faces too! And Dolly's, but the thing is, she just looks too much like Bilquis. Alas. :(

Three cheers! :D

Fritter: 4.6

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject