Fritter: 4.1

[azaya]

It's about time for more Fritters, I think! This update ended up not being terribly funny, since I myself am not feeling terribly funny, but it is full of bright colors so perhaps you will forgive me?


Someone's paying attention to Sibyl? Beef and I made the same face when I noticed.


Beef: Miss Pretty, I just need to get to the bathroom, I have to shower for schoo—

Miss Pretty: You will wait until I give you permission to go, peon.


Bilquis: I hate gold.

What? But you're a Fortune sim.

Bilquis: I know! And I don't have any gold! So I hate it.

Oh. That makes sense.


Lately, all anyone wants to eat here is spaghetti and grilled cheese. I have no idea why. But since they're relatively simple foods, most everyone can cook them and so everyone is happy!


Almond: *happy sigh*


Of course.


Fascinated by Nicole's new hairdo, I presume, Almond.


Almond: Among other things.


Almond: Oh shit she noticed me looking, need a distraction SO HEY HOW ABOUT THAT RAIN WE'RE GETTING, SURE IS... RAINY...

Nicole: Actually I don't think it's—

Almond: BOY IT SURE IS RAI. NING.


Bilquis celebrates her coronation as Fritter heir by... marking her territory. Eww, Bilquis.


Tierney: I get the impression you're good with your hands. ;D


Dirty talk was Sweet nothings were whispered.


Love was fallen into!


Hands were held.




That's an attractive face you're making, Tierney.


No wonder you two get along so well.


Bilquis: Tierney is hot!

Tierney: I am hot.


Bilquis: Love~*~*~

Tierney: This fucking gate.


Bilquis: Looooovin' yoooou - is easy cause - you're beautifulllll...

Tierney: *is both touched and secondhand embarrassed*


azaya: Bilquis is all UM EXCUSE ME I CANNOT MOUNT THE STAIRS and Tierney's like *obliviously mouthbreathes*
pooklet: FKJGDLKJGHDFJKD
pooklet: it looks like Bilquis is trying to explain the majesty of her great lord Cthulhu while Tierney zones the fuck out because excuse you Flying Spaghetti Monster is the only true god and such.
azaya: ...yes


Poor, determined Knut.




Good lord, girls, that didn't take long.

They were besties to start, though, so I guess that explains it.




Neon antlers: *loom*


Welp. Nice to see we're getting a head start on that, then.


Meet your generation three legacy spouse, kiddies.

See, Tierney? I knew you'd get through that gate someday!


Almond: *plots! 8D*


Sibyl had a very Sibylesque birthday, i.e., ignored.


Since Bilquis is heir now, Almond had to move out of the bedroom she and Eulalie used to share. I set up this teeny room for her to sleep in, since there wasn't room in her tower for a bed.


~Snow interlude~


And this is the master bedroom, redecorated for Bilquis and Tierney.






Sibyl: We're in the same room! Eating breakfast together! Oh my God! ~Besties~!

Bilquis: *is amenable*


Swan: RAARGWHUARGHA


Swan: WHY AM I NOT HEIR, I'M SO PIIIIIISSED

Oh relax, you're way too much fun to be consigned to spare oblivion. You'll get plenty of attention!

Swan: I HAD FUCKING BETTER, I'M DELIGHTFUL.


That was fast. Not that I'm complaining.


Bilquis: Excuse me?


Bilquis: Are you sure you have the right number? Because Swan's not doing anything musical right now...


No, she really isn't.

Swan: Graaarghuwawrarga I just want to hit someone ...Hey, Beef, wanna play Red Hands?

Beef: Sure! I see nothing suspicious about this at all! 8D


Poor mushroom necklace, being subjected to the shower.


Sibyl: Look how pretty I am pay attention to me!

Yes, you're very pretty. Unfortunately, I'm busy looking at your mom's banana-covered tits you're almost an exact clone of Bilquis.


Amazing? But you're talking to Sibyl!


Almond: *sheds sparkles and farts glitter*


Miss Pretty: What are these strange blue glowing bits emanating from the Ancient One? I don't trust them. I want them off my lands.


More birthdays! Adult Beef.


And adult Swan.


Beef: Awww, whosa pretty-pretty kitty-kitty?


Miss Pretty: Another few seconds and I would've had the blue sparkling creatures. You will pay dearly for this, fool.


Hamilton: *discovers the gate, like a hundred townies before him*


Beef: You know, enough time has passed that I'm legal now...


Hamilton: Heh, you don't say. :">


Ghost of Eulalie: COLUMN, OLD PAL, IT'S BEEN TOO LONG!


Beef and Hamilton: *agree that the Best of the Best award really adds a certain elegance to the ambiance*


And under the benevolent gaze of the Best of the Best award, Beef made his move.


It worked out well for him!


Ghost of Eulalie: Good for Beef! 8D


Bilquis: *waddles*


Bilquis: This pregnancy thing isn't so bad. Maybe I could be a surrogate! I bet they rake in the cash.


Oh right, Tierney doesn't live here yet.


Bilquis: *intends to rectify that*


Bilquis: Tierney, love of my life, marry me! ...You'll get a key to the gate, too. :D


Tierney: Wow, look at it, it's so beautiful! ...So how about that key? :D




Rad.


Tierney: OH MY GOD THAT'S MY BABY IN THERE 8D


So naturally, their next action was to try to get one in Tierney too.


Almond: *glows, it's no big deal*

Tierney: *does not comment*


Tierney: I got laid. 8D

Rub it in, why don't you.


Sibyl: Do you love me yet?

I... yes, sure, just stop looking at me like that.


Tierney: Is not goth magnificent?

Sibyl: *oohs and ahhs, anything for acceptance*


Eudora still exists! She's just been quiet lately. Aside from printing tons of fake money, anyway. She is a very ambitious counterfeiter.


Knut why?






Hey, Nicole, how's it go— wait.


Oh.

I see.


Bilquis: It's okay that mom got pregnant again around the same time as me! It won't be weird at all for my kid to grow up with an aunt or uncle the same age as them!

That's the spirit. I, however, am still tempted to smite Nicole.


Tierney: Don't fool yourself. It's going to be weird. It's going to be super weird.

I'm with Tierney on this one, tbh.


Almond: YOU - SHALL NOT - PASS.

Miss Pretty: *passes.*


With the baby about to be born, Bilquis made that shit official.


Tierney puts the wedding ring on over Bilquis's glove. Fancy!


HER EYES, OH GOD, HER EYES. I guess she was serious about Great Lord Cthulhu earlier. SAVE YOURSELF, TIERNEY.


Tierney: *notices nothing*


Meanwhile, karaoke is still lord of the manor.


Bilquis: I've changed my mind, I don't wanna be a surrogate anymore. I don't even want this one! Being pregnant sucks.

Too late now.


But soon enough, Dulcinea was born and pregnancy was over. For now.


And immediately afterward, her attention hog mother gave birth to Thursday here. And then I rendered her fucking sterile.

Well, this was not the funniest I've ever been. I am astew with sulky feelings these days. Have an apologetic bat .gif.