Fritter: 3.5

[azaya]

So, just a bit of warning: this one ran a little long. Like, almost 150 pictures long. If you've got a slow connection, you might want to give it a bit of time to load.


Swan's been on a bestie-making spree lately, ostensibly because she's a Popularity sim. I'm pretty sure she has sinister intentions, though.


Swan: So anyway, fuck your lipstick.

Bilquis: Girl, don't you talk about my lipstick!

How she keeps making friends is a little beyond me, honestly.


These two, of course, get along like a house on fire. A housefire they probably set, come to think of it.


Miss Pretty: I believe we have an understanding.

That's not ominous!


Bilquis: So I've been thinking lately that bondage might be fun.

Beef: That sounds like a fascinating topic, but can it wait until I've caught Kyogre?


Almond had Nicole trapped listening to jokes for a couple sim hours, but then Eudora noticed and it was ACR to the rescue, since the prospect of getting laid makes absolutely everything else drop out of Nicole's queue.


Almond: *plays... nothing?*

o__o


Jeez, Bilquis, what did you buy stock in?




Sibyl continues to be unnoticed and unwashed.




Eudora: ...but I don't really care for going out when it's sunny, I burn to a crisp.

Huh. I guess Francisco is still hanging around.


Like several Fritters before her, Sibyl investigates the mysterious porcelain tunnel.




Eudora: We sure raised them right, didn't we!

I don't think she's being sarcastic, either.


Bilquis continues to be a fucking star.


Bonding. :>


Beef: HOMEWORK IS HAAAAARRRD

Perhaps if you didn't leave it to the last second before bed every single night...


Eudora: *is focused on what matters*


Almond: I'm a vampire, Eulalie! Better watch out. You look so delicious~

Eulalie: Hee :">


Squid woman, what have you wrought?


I gotta be honest, you guys. Whenever I think about Tailypo (which is more often than you might think), it's Miss Pretty I picture. True story.


Beef is a ~serious artist~.


Swan is into art as well.


Specifically, reproductions.




Bilquis: Whosa bestest kittycat inna whole worrrld?


Miss Pretty: I am. But I still mean to utterly destroy you and everything you hold dear.


But suddenly, tragedy struck.


Beef: Ahh, every brushstroke brings this piece closer to perfection. *++ art*

Swan: AHHHH JESUS CHRIST IT'S ON FIRE

All right, so I guess by 'tragedy' I meant 'hilarity'.


Swan: FUCK YOU, FIRE, YOU'RE NOT TAKING MY FREE MONEY.


Beef: WHY DO YOU DO THESE THINGS


Swan: Man, they're never gonna let me print fake money again, are they.


Beef: We're alive! We survived! *celebratory tickle attack*

Swan: I'm going to allow this, because I am too emotionally exhausted to summon up the hatred I should be feeling for you right now.


But after a shower to clean the soot and shame off, she was back to her usual perky, hateful self.


What... what is this? Someone paying attention to Sibyl?

Does not compute.


Oh, Sibyl. You really are a Fritter.


Sibyl: Oh, thank goodness! Deliverance from my odoriferous state! Surely Nana will wash me!


Sibyl: I wanted the opposite of this! D:


Eulalie: Hoof. My goodness, Sibyl, you're stinky.

Sibyl: SO BATHE ME. PLEASE, MUST I BEG ;~;


Begging worked.


The wolves continue to watch young women. Just like Twilight




Eudora: Hi, baby.

Nicole: :">


Almond: Hey. Hey, knockers, Nicole! I mean, knock-knock, Nicole!


Almond: No one appreciates my jokes. Screw this, I'm going bowling.

She's a little old to be your type, isn't she, Waggles?


At the bowling alley was Brandon von Maxispants Collins, one of Bo's paramours.


Also at the bowling alley was The Infallibly Good Wizard Whose Name I Don't Remember!

IGWWNIDR (huh, that could almost be a high fantasy name, couldn't it): I put on my robe and wizard hat.

Almond: 8D!


Almond: MAKE ME ONE OF YOU AND I'LL ACCEPT YOUR PEARL NECKLACE LIKE A PRO.

Igwwnidr: *is amenable*

(Thanks to beescratch for providing that bit of commentary and being generous enough to let me use it. XD)


Igwwnidr: ~*~Abracadabra, alakazam, make this chick a witch so—

Almond: Hold up, I'll be right back.


Almond: You.

Oh look, you guys, it's that burglar from fifty years ago that didn't even actually steal anything.


Almond: Kay, go on!

Igwwnidr: ~*~Abdracadabra, alakazam, make this chick a witch so we can make with the bow chicka bam bam~*~

Almond: You have an Alakazam? 8D

(Spoiler: Igwwnidr didn't have an Alakazam. Nor was there any depositing of pearl necklaces.)


Man, good thing for Nicole there's no love spells in sims.

Almond: You mean no love spells that you know of. ;D

Meanwhile, back at the house:


Hullo Tierney, just come right in, why don't you?


How did you get through the locked gate, by the way?

Tierney: Why, what an excellent question.


Tierney: I don't actually know! So let me just snap reset back outside the gate then.

Righto.






Sibyl: Oh my word! Can it be? Mom! MOM! PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEE.


Nicole: Did you hear something?... Must've been the wind.

Sibyl: *denied*


I admire your self-sufficiency, kiddo.

Sibyl: It's born of necessity. No one else seems to remember I exist for longer than five minutes at a time.


Beef: Whew! What's that smell?

That would be you.


Beef: Man, that is ripe.

So take a shower.


Almond: You. Come back for another try at our shit, eh?

Bilquis: *does her homework*

Best of the Best Award: *is ~inspiring~*


Wisely, Bilquis got up and took her homework inside at this point.




At long last, revenge was had for the things that were not actually stolen.


Almond: I would like to dedicate this victory to the Best of the Best Award. Bestie, if you hadn't been there for me it might've been my ass trounced on the curb.

Best of the Best Award: *is touched*


Sibyl had an unremarkable birthday which I missed entirely (to the surprise of no one) and grew up into this adorable creature.


Sibyl: Look! They're celebrating my birthday! Look how excited they are!

...Yeah. Yeah, that's what they're doing.


Sibyl: Do you love me yet?

Sure, but I wouldn't expect much more screen time than before, bb.


Aww, look at her, part of the family and everything.


Ordinarily I'd make a sex joke here, but since this is Swan, I feel safe in assuming she actually is talking about bombs.


Miss Pretty: The ones that glow at night... they have returned.

Gasp!


Miss Pretty: I WILL HAVE THEIR HEADS.


Sibyl: God what is wrong with you, I'm trying to sleep! Get out of my face.


Eulalie gives a private concert for Miss Pretty and Ball O' Stink.






What we learned from the fire earlier: nothing.


Fine! Except Beef has no cooking points at all. None.


Now back to our regularly scheduled program, 'We Learned Absolutely Nothing From The Fire Earlier And Are Doomed To Repeat The Past, Probably'.


What a shock, Swan throws beanballs.




Emo McPastyface: So Malfoy's like "It's on Mars..."


Beef: I've always considered myself a rocket ship enthusiast.

That had better not be a euphemism, you're still underage.


Aww, he's like a little hissing kitten.






Sibyl brought her cousin Splendid home from school. Splendid is Gershwitz and Vanessa's daughter, who did not make an appearance in the spares update because she hadn't been conceived yet, but um, here she is now!


And they got along really well but that's not as interesting as this limo. Why is there a limo parked outside the house?


Oh. I guess Miss Pretty got promoted to Star at some point (as she greatly deserves) and I missed capping it.


Miss Pretty: Who is this stranger that dares to invade my territory?


They're really cute. I'm glad Sibyl finally made a friend.


Then I guess they argued about something but who is this lurking at the edge of the lot?




Welcome back, Tierney!


Aww, the 'kiss kiss darling' greeting is really cute when one sim is shorter than the other.


She's pretty ok.


Bilquis: So, I'm not getting any younger. How'd you like to fertilize my eggs?

BILQUIS. UNDERAGE. STOP IT.


Eulalie and Sibyl: *hug*

Peter Murphy: *~glowers~*


So Almond is actually the first good witch I've ever had! It's... different.


I like that her cauldron glows blue. /observation


Sibyl: THIS IS THE BEST

And another one bites the dust. Bubbles. W/e.


And again, we have autonomous tucking in solely for the children in height-adjusted beds. >:(


He was someone's friend?


I'm going to pretend Beef is cheering on Sibyl's behalf!


Eudora cranked out five thousand simoleons' worth of fake money. Woman is devoted.


Swan: It should be a crime to look as good as I do.

Give it time.




Sibyl maxed her creativity points. And, true to form, I missed actually capping it. Appropriate, seeing as it's Sibyl.


Yeah, that's... that's pretty typical of a Fritter.


I wish Apartment Life had included that spell from Makin' Magic which you could use to turn your pet into a human. I'd love to see what kind of person Miss Pretty would be.

You know. Besides a homicidal maniac.


Nicole: Yeah, and your mom invited me to go on vacation with her and it was super uncomfortable which—

Almond: OUR VACATION? WHAT? 8D


Eudora: She just pops in out of nowhere, like magic! D:

Nicole: ...well, she is a witch.


Eudora: I hate to say this, but maybe if you'd just, you know, rub her lamp a little, she'd leave you alone.

Nicole: I am going to spend the rest of my life trying to forget that you said that.


Almond: Eulalie, um, we don't still have those "home movies" we made, do we?

Eulalie: I don't know about any home movies but these pancakes are outrageous.


Almond: Perhaps I should call and adopt a child, to mold precisely in my image.

You remember you already had three biologically, right?


No, actually, she's at school. I'm not sure why you aren't, Splendid. 8|


The Fritters have been remiss in harvesting the banana tree, as you can see.


And Almond has not quite perfected her Magivestigium yet.


Anything to be in a position of authority! Right, Swan?


Eudora: What? Officer, no! This isn't a counterfeit machine! This is a, a, a cookie machine.


He didn't buy it.

Eudora: Whatever, I'll just print more.


Sibyl: Moms! Moms! Moms, I got an A+! I got an A+ WHY DON'T YOU CAAAARE ;~;


As usual, all of the attention that could be going to 'friends' brought home from school goes to Miss Pretty.


Not that she's necessarily happy about it.


Bilquis continues to be a genius investor, holy shit.


How convenient that her LTW is to earn $100,000.


And this is... the front of their house. I don't actually remember why I took this picture, I'll be honest. Maybe to poke fun at the fact that they're growing weeds in their window boxes, idk.


I was really, really glad to see them do this...


...because immediately afterwards, it was time for this. ;~;


Eulalie: Liquor! 8O

A zombie colada, no doubt.


Suddenly her necklace is sadly appropriate. ;_____;


Goodbye, Eulalie! You were the best. Please don't scare anyone to death in your coming days as a ghost.


Sibyl: WAHHHHH NANA WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT LIKED MEEEEEEE

Poor thing. :<


Well then, Sibyl.


Meanwhile, one of the hula zombies ~goes rogue~.


Welp, guess we can forget about the counterfeit machine for awhile.


And so the Fritter crypt gains its first resident.


It was rather unfortunate timing, but Bilquis had a birthday too.


Actually it wasn't at all horrible, you're just upset because you didn't get to go to college and, incidentally, your grandma just died. :[


Bilquis: *goes dramatically into aspiration failure*

Almond: DAMN IT BILQUIS HAVE YOUR BREAKDOWN SOMEWHERE ELSE I HAVE TO PEE


Almond: Oh, great. Now there's two of them.


Bilquis: I'm cured!

Almond: I'm out.


8DDDD


Bilquis: Now why the heck did I wish for Peace of Mind instead of money?

Because you're gonna need peace of mind, bb. You're our heir.

And that is that for now! I have some pictures of the spares that I will probably post in a couple of days just to fill in some holes. Bye for now!