changing a sim's gender behavior

i.e., forcing the game to recognize binary trans sims as their proper gender (or nonbinary sims who use binary pronouns). i've gotten more than a few messages asking how to do this, so here is a tutorial that should answer those questions!

there are two ways to do this that i know of; there may be more, i'm not sure. in any case, i'll cover the two i know.

( sry for the lowercase letters i'm in tumblr mode )